IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

7.The bar chart gives the top eight online activities in Slovakia in a given month. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

7.The bar chart gives the top eight online activities in Slovakia in a given month. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides information about the eight most popular online activities conducted by Slovakia with two
genders
Use synonyms
 throughout July as a percentage of
overall
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
 users. It can be seen that males and females have the highest usage in
both
Use synonyms
 text or instant messaging and
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
email.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
with
Change preposition
according to
show examples
 Health Research females have almost doubled
Correct article usage
the percentages
show examples
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
internet
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 compared to males. Interestingly,
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 the least interested in Job Hunting.
According to
Linking Words
 the figures,
communication related
Add a hyphen
communication-related
show examples
 tasks were the most common for
both
Use synonyms
 sexes, especially using email and texting or instant messaging
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 over 80% of total
internet
Use synonyms
 users for
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 for women, the most popular activities are social networking and
internet
Use synonyms
 banking at around 78% and 76% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for men,
internet
Use synonyms
 banking at 73% was slightly more important than social networking at 68%.
While
Linking Words
 streaming video/ music women slightly higher percentage at 52%
while
Linking Words
 men at 48%. Interestingly, males and females have an equal proportion in job hunting and online education.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear to see that
both
Use synonyms
 two
genders
Use synonyms
 use the most percentage of the
internet
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
comuniation
Correct your spelling
communication
 related
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 other tasks are less.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words genders, internet, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: