Some people believe that robots are important to human's future development while others believe they are dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The debate
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Debate

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exists
between
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about

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the
future
Use synonyms

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prospects of society through
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

development
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the development

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of technology.
Although
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some consider the robot's
evolvement
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evolution

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as a
nessecity
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necessity

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for
successful
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a successful

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future
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, I believe the risks of them completely
erradicating
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eradicating

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human kind
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humankind

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are far greater. Some
people
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believe the continuous
development
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of
robots
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can improve the
future
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of society
like
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by

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conserving time and simplifying the lifestyle. One of the main goals in the
development
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of new technologies and
robots
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is to improve
people
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's lives so that
robots
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could do the mundane things like cleaning,
cooking
Correct word choice
and cooking

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while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would have more time to work or be with their family .
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays,
the
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apply

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artificial
intellegence
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intelligence

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has
a
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the

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capacity to write reports, create music,
images
Correct word choice
and images

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, and solve math problems.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it saves a lot of time and allows humans to use it in a more productive manner.
On the other hand
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, there is a risk of
robots
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fully replacing
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The speed at which the
development
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of
robots
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
went
Change the verb form
gone

It appears that the verb went should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

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for
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

last
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the last

It appears that the phrase last couple does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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couple of
yers
Correct your spelling
years

The word yers doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is incredible.
Following
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
as a consequence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number of them rose as their capabilities. Take
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

proffessions
Correct your spelling
professions

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, over the course of a decade some jobs like accountant and cashier lost
the
Correct article usage
apply

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demand,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
robots
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and the same work they can do.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fact makes a number of
people
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worry about the
future
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and a
posssible
Correct your spelling
possible

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threat of erasing
human kind
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humankind

The word human kind seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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. Which I think can happen if we do not stop relying on technologies too much and understand. All in all, even though
robots
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can improve
human's
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human

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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles

It seems that lifestyle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, I believe their threat to the world is far
more
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apply

The double comparative more greater may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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greater
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

continue relying on them too much.

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task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic and provides a clear opinion, which is good for task achievement. However, the arguments can be further elaborated with additional evidence and examples. Try to explore each point in more depth.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to spelling and grammar errors, such as 'erradicating', 'nessecity', 'intellegence', 'went', 'yer', 'posssible', 'proffessions', etc. Correcting these errors will help improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion. However, transitional phrases and connectors between sentences and paragraphs can be improved to enhance the flow of ideas. Use words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'however' for better cohesion.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument regarding the development of robots and provides an opinion, which makes the response comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's opinion, providing a cohesive end to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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