It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, children have been educated about not only academic knowledge but
also
good behaviour. It is believed that institutes are responsible for teaching good behaviour to students
besides
giving formal education. From my perspective, this
opinion is reasonable to a certain extent and I will explain my viewpoint in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, the protesters of the topic in question have their rational grounds. First,
the majority of time
at schools is spent on providing compulsory for pupils instead
of teaching others skills. In fact, it takes a long time
for teachers to convey a large amount of academic knowledge of all subjects to students
. In Vietnam, a significant number of offspring suppose that they are stressed because of too many subjects so they lack time
to learn other skills. Second,
educating offspring should belong to
the responsibility of their parents. Verb problem
be
This
is because parents are able to spend much time
with their kids at home and they are also
people who are the closest to offspring. For example
, it is pretty simple for parents to teach their children how to behave well with old people and others on a daily basis.
On the other hand
, the above arguments are insufficient to overshadow the merits of said matter. The most pertinent point is that educating offspring on both good attitude
and valuable academic insights will help Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
students
develop comprehensively. In reality, many students
mostly pay attention to doing exercises at school instead
of cultivating essential soft skills. As a result
, they are short of many crucial factors to have a successful career in the future while
companies are finding out
employees who have good attitudes before training them. Another justification is that education institutes should decrease unnecessary subjects to teach Change preposition
apply
students
good
demeanor which Correct article usage
a good
are
essential for all of them before coming to a higher level in their life. To elaborate, the right attitude is the foundation of their growth and will help them avoid mistakes in the future.
In short, educating pupils on good Change the verb form
is
attitude
is highly crucial for their development in the long run. Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
This
should be responsible for all adults , particularly schools.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively. However, make sure to maintain consistency in your argumentation. For instance, elaborate more on why schools should take responsibility for behavior education, instead of focusing excessively on why parents should do it. Balance the arguments to strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, though there are some areas that could benefit from clearer transitions. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with appropriate linking words.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. Specificity can help reinforce your arguments and make them more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and concisely presents your stance on the issue. This sets a solid foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You offer a well-rounded conclusion that succinctly summarizes your points and reaffirms your position. This leaves a strong final impression.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported, and you effectively address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced viewpoint.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example