Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

When finish
at
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apply
show examples
school, teenagers have to dilemma to get a job or continue
of
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apply
show examples
their education. Meanwhile getting a job straight after school
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a lot of benefits, there are
also
good
reason
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reasons
show examples
might
Verb problem
apply
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why it could be beneficial when
go
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going
show examples
to university or college. It seems clear that when
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
choose
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choosing
show examples
work straight after
shcool
Correct your spelling
school
for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning
a lots
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a lot
lots
show examples
of money as soon as possible. In
this
way,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
can
independent
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be independent
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, and they
wil
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will
be able to afford their own house or establish
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. In terms of, the people who
is
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are
show examples
decide to work can develop their career quickly and have
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
meet the talented people in the business world.
This
can lead
their
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to their
show examples
successful
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success
show examples
and move up
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in the
show examples
the
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their
show examples
career
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careers
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.
On the other hand
, it can
eassily
Correct your spelling
easily
understand
Wrong verb form
be understood
show examples
why others choose
continue
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to continue
show examples
their
learns
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learning
show examples
.
Firstly
,
acdemic
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academic
qualifications are required
many
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in many
show examples
professions.
For instance
, becoming
doctor
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a doctor
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, lawyer ,and police there
are
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is
show examples
impossible without having the relevant degree. As a
results
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result
show examples
, university
graduated
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graduates
show examples
have access
better
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to better
show examples
job
chance
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chances
show examples
, and their income will
higher
Add a missing verb
have higher
show examples
salaries than those have not
qualificantions
Correct your spelling
qualifications
.
Secondly
, the
postion
Correct your spelling
position
of applying for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Director in the above industries will have fierce competition, and those with degrees will be prioritized
than
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over
show examples
others. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for starting work straight after school, but higher education can
also
lead to a successful career.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure overall, but the introduction and conclusion need more attention to improve readability and completeness.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas with more specific examples. This will help in making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Many grammatical errors and awkward phrases were noted. It would be beneficial to review and revise your sentences for better clarity.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views thoroughly and provides arguments for each side, which is crucial for a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are logically structured, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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