Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

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When finish

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apply

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school, teenagers have to dilemma to get a job or continue

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apply

show examples

their education. Meanwhile getting a job straight after school

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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a lot of benefits, there are

also

Linking Words

good

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

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might

Verb problem

apply

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why it could be beneficial when

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going

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to university or college. It seems clear that when

Add the particle

to choose

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choose

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choosing

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work straight after

shcool

Correct your spelling

school

for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning

a lots

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a lot

lots

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of money as soon as possible. In

this

Linking Words

way,

the

Correct your spelling

they

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can

independent

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be independent

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, and they

wil

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will

be able to afford their own house or establish

company

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the company

a company

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. In terms of, the people who

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are

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decide to work can develop their career quickly and have

oppotunity

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opportunity

meet the talented people in the business world.

This

Linking Words

can lead

their

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to their

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successful

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success

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and move up

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in the

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the

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their

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career

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careers

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, it can

eassily

Correct your spelling

easily

understand

Wrong verb form

be understood

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why others choose

continue

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to continue

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their

learns

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learning

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Firstly

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acdemic

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academic

qualifications are required

many

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in many

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professions.

For instance

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, becoming

doctor

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a doctor

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, lawyer ,and police there

are

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impossible without having the relevant degree. As a

results

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result

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, university

graduated

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graduates

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have access

better

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to better

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job

chance

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chances

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, and their income will

higher

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have higher

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salaries than those have not

qualificantions

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qualifications

Secondly

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, the

postion

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position

of applying for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Director in the above industries will have fierce competition, and those with degrees will be prioritized

than

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over

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others. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for starting work straight after school, but higher education can

also

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lead to a successful career.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue May 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good structure overall, but the introduction and conclusion need more attention to improve readability and completeness.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas with more specific examples. This will help in making your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Many grammatical errors and awkward phrases were noted. It would be beneficial to review and revise your sentences for better clarity.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both views thoroughly and provides arguments for each side, which is crucial for a complete response.

coherence cohesion

The main points in your essay are logically structured, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

An organisation has given an advertisement for part time volunteering job for local children. Write a letter to the administrator of the organisation in your letter introduce yourself Why you think you are suitable for this. Job State when you will be able to join

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.