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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about patients who stayed in different wards of a hospital. The chart also shows the percentage of patients who replied ‘very good’ about the various aspects of their hospital experience.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about patients who stayed in different wards of a hospital. The chart also shows the percentage of patients who replied ‘very good’ about the various aspects of their hospital experience.
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the chart provides information concerning the results of
satisfaction
Correct article usage
a satisfaction
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 survey in three different wards of the hospital about
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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various aspects
by
Change preposition
of
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 the patient's experiences generally speaking, there were
above
Change preposition
than
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 50% of the patients
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 very
satisfying
Replace the word
satisfied
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about
Change preposition
with
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 the hospital staff, the waiting time, the
quality
Use synonyms
 of treatment
may
Verb problem
apply
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 well the
quality
Use synonyms
 of aftercare in all wards of the hospital.
according to
Linking Words
 the chart, the people in Holly Ward have a great experience in all aspects as seen as the result that more than 70% of them replied "very good" in the survey, and
reach
Verb problem
apply
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90% in the
quality
Use synonyms
 of the treatment. on the other side, the survey's result in the
mapple
Change the capitalization
Mapple
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 ward
as well as
Linking Words
 the
oak
Capitalize word
Oak
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 ward shows various yet lower
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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, it is in the range of 50% to 70% for each aspect.
overall
Linking Words
, the patients were very pleased with the
quality
Use synonyms
 of the treatment and feel the waiting time is something that the hospital can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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improve in the future.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quality with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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