Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good,while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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At present, a lot of

children

Use synonyms

are wasting their time by watching videos or playing movies. Some individuals opine that it is effective

while

Linking Words

others believe that it is bad. I, personally side with the latter view. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss both these views and give my opinion.

To begin

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with, lots of youngsters are now sticking with the screen of mobiles and computers and it leads to

keep

Change the verb form

keeping

show examples

them inside the house. Nowadays, criminal activities and pollution have

incrased

Correct your spelling

increased

a lot. Sometimes, It can be hazardous to the young child. So, parents need to give them something to keep them in the house.

For instance

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, a survey of BRAC depicted that environmental pollution has increased drastically so that it could be a catastrophe for

snall

Correct your spelling

small

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

Moreover

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, playing games or watching different types of videos has

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

significant impact. It helps them to stimulate the cognitive development.

Such

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as, playing

candy crush

Correct your spelling

Candy Crush

show examples

can help

youngers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

show examples

boost their

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

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skills. It can

also

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help them think outside the box. So,

according to

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some people,

this

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habit is

fruitfill

Correct your spelling

fruitful

On the other hand

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, adolescents who are more prone to mobile or television, end up with higher obesity.

As a result

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children

Use synonyms

are facing many problems regarding health issues at a very young age. To illustrate, in 2023 lots of school

children

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are suffering from diabetes, eye problems and mental disorders.

Furthermore

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this

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overuse of games or television results in less concentration in studies. Ultimately, it impinges

their

Change preposition

on their

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study lives. In my perspective, students who are engaged in using electronic devices, are likely to spend less time with families. It

also

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increases stress,

frustration

Correct word choice

and frustration

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and the relationship with families

also

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deteriorates. So, parents should take

Correct article usage

the initiatives

show examples

initiatives

Fix the agreement mistake

initiative

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to keep their

children

Use synonyms

away from these devices.

To conclude

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, the growing number of

children

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are stuck on the devices.

Although

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it has few benefits, it still is very disadvantageous for babies.

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task response

Make sure to address both views in a balanced way. Currently, the essay leans more towards the negative aspects of screen time. Some additional positive facets could be discussed more thoroughly.

task response

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. Broader generalizations weaken the strength of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion. Some of the paragraphs feel slightly disjointed.

coherence and cohesion

Conclusion should summarize the main points made in the essay more strongly and restate the opinion in a compelling manner.

task response

The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and maintains it throughout, which is a good practice.

coherence and cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, aiding in the structure of the essay.

task response

Examples like the survey of BRAC and mentions of Candy Crush help in supporting the points being made.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
educational opportunities
technical skills
digital future
cultural exposure
screen time
physical health
obesity
eye strain
violent content
inappropriate content
parental supervision
setting boundaries
behavioral impact
mental health

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Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good,while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sources of electrocity in four countries 2003-2008

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?