Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

These days, the majority of individuals
socialise
Correct pronoun usage
who socialise
show examples
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
one another have modified tremendously
due to
technological advancements. In
this
essay, I will explain how
this
affects the relationship between
parents
and
children
, and why I believe
this
is a negative development. Technologies have affected in several ways of the relationships of humans. The primary one is that there is a lack of bonding between
parents
and
children
. Nowadays, most
parents
are working
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
give the least attention towards their
children
. Eventually, they spend most of their time on the internet
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing online games.
Hence
, there is a lack of interaction between the father, the mother and the
children
.
For instance
, in India, many IT professionals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
working in two different shifts have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little time to look after their wards and they
stay
Verb problem
spend
show examples
most of their free time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the interest in order to escape isolation, which dramatically leads to
absence
Add an article
the absence
an absence
show examples
of communication
betwen
Correct your spelling
between
families and
children
. I strongly believe that
this
phenonmenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
has a downside trend because
this
can cause behavioural issues in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
That is
to say,
parents
tend to be the major influencers for every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they do not receive appropriate guidance from them, they will fail to obey the rules and show disobedience in the public.
This immoral personalities
Change the determiner
This immoral personality
These immoral personalities
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can lead them to get involved in unlawful activities.
For example
, in India, some students who are addicted to video games start to
steel
Correct your spelling
steal
show examples
money from their
parents
and buy X-box,gamer
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
and consoles without the knowledge of their
parents
. if they get
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
in these
minon
Correct your spelling
minor
crimes at early ages, they will make bigger crimes when they grow up. In conclusion, I believe that developments in technology will divide
parents
and
children
because they are
giving
Verb problem
paying
show examples
more attention to playing online games and
this
can affect their characters.
Submitted by prasadjul1986 on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the question adequately but could include a broader range of ways in which technology affects relationships to provide a fuller picture.
Task Response
Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence. This will make your essay easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive language and vary sentence structures to maintain reader interest and flexibility in expression.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately frame the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay stays focused on the topic of how technology affects relationships and maintains a logical structure.
Task Response
Provides some relevant examples, like the situation of IT professionals in India, which adds credibility to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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