Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good,while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
this
modern era, Children
's screening time
has became
a debatable topic. Some proponents argue that watching Change the form of the verb
become
TV
, videos
and PC games is harmful for
Change the preposition
to
kids
, while
others reject this
notion. In this
essay, i
will analyze both views and give my opinion. Change the capitalization
I
This
essay will provide examples to demonstrate my ideas and a conclusion.
To begin
with, Children
's watching TV
and videos
carry some drawbacks but the predominant is that enjoying videos
and TV
can cause health problems to
Change preposition
apply
them
, as they will not indulge in any physical activity Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
Change preposition
apply
which
they can become obese. Correct word choice
and
Moreover
, kids
will not feel comfortable in social interaction. They will like to stay alone and become cracnky
if someone Correct your spelling
crazy
will try
to talk or play with them. Wrong verb form
tries
For example
, a newspaper published a survey showing that working parents are not able to give proper time
to their kids
and almost sixty percent children
do not like to socialize with people.
Change preposition
of children
On the other hand
, the positive impact of this
idea cannot be ignored. By watching TV
and PC games children
will become more creative and sharp minded
. Add a hyphen
sharp-minded
To
Change preposition
In
add
, Watching Replace the word
addition
videos
on mobile phone
can help them to learn new languages and skills which can be helpful for them in future. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Apart from
this
, parents can get some time
to relax after Correct article usage
a
the
Correct article usage
a
Replace the word
tiring
tired
working day. To provide an example, Correct word choice
tiring
kids
watching video games are more active than their counterparts who do not spend time
on Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
or Fix the agreement mistake
phones
TV
.
To conclude
, the idea of watching TV
and videos
online have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
their
pros and cons, it depends on the parents Correct pronoun usage
its
that
how they like their Correct word choice
and
kids
to get connected with these online videos
.Submitted by baljeetkhehra11318 on
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grammar
Consider proofreading your essay to correct small grammatical errors, such as the misuse of capitalization and articles. Improvements here can make your writing clearer and more professional.
examples
Work on making your examples more specific and directly related to the points you're making. This can help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure your ideas connect smoothly and logically.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the essay topic.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a framework for your discussion.
examples
You have introduced relevant points and supported them with examples, which is crucial for a well-developed essay.