Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, they will feel better and will find benefits to
people
moving to a new country
have become a normal trend. However
, there are some concerns about living abroad such
as learning new languages and social problems. In this
essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion on this
topic.
Living abroad where people
speak a different language
from your mother tongue can lead to numerous problems beyond communication issues such
as social and mental health issues. People
migrating to new countries have to learn new languages and adapt to the new environment that is
different from Correct pronoun usage
their
your
home Correct pronoun usage
their
country
. As a result
, people
who cannot adapt to a new society or have a problem with social skills can easily be stressed and feel anxious. This
can lead to a mental health problem like depression and antisocial syndrome. The migrants not only deal with new languages and communication skills but also
are likely to see discrimination in some cases. For example
, American-Chinese people
faced a lot of discrimination after the COVID-19 pandemic.
However
, it can be argued that in the first place
Add a comma
place,
people
might not adapt to the new environment abruptly but after thatAdd a comma
,
Wrong verb form
living
live
in a new Wrong verb form
living
country
. For example
, learning a new language
helps people
improve communication skills and find new friends to hang out with to reduce your
homesickness. Correct pronoun usage
their
Moreover
, people
can have a work opportunity in a new country
to earn their livelihood rather than their home country
.
In conclusion, I firmly agree that living abroad may cause a lot of problems. For
example
Add a comma
example,
people
having
to struggle with learning a new Wrong verb form
have
language
and dealing with discrimination and mental health. Therefore
, it is essential for people
to strike a balance between the advantages and disadvantages for
migrating to a new Change preposition
of
country
having a different language
and culture.Submitted by bhavifasai on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and clear, offering a balanced view of the topic. However, the transition between points could be smoother to enhance the flow. Some of the sentences could be more concise, which would improve readability.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task prompt well, providing both perspectives and your own opinion, more specific examples can strengthen your arguments. Try to provide real-world examples or data to make your points even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully provided an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making your essay easy to read and follow.
task achievement
Your points are relevant and specific to the task prompt, showing a good understanding of the topic.