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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Art classes such as painting and drawing, are as important to child's developement as other subject, so it should be compulsory in high school. to what extend do you agree or disagree

#art #classes #child #developement #school
It is
also
 said that Artistic
classes
,
include
Wrong verb form
including
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 painting and drawing are vital for a child's development and should be valued as much as other subjects in high school.
This
 writer certainly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
 statement and will write an essay to explain his opinion. It can not be undeniable that
art
classes
is
Change the verb form
are
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 a useful technique that
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 children improve their creativity and
also
 play an important role in
express
Change the form of the verb
expressing
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 themselves. It is conclusion that
art
 subject
foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
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 creativity and
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
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pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 use energy to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in complex
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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also
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 a platform for self-expression. Through painting and
drawing
Add a comma
drawing,
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 pupils are encouraged to identify and convey their
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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,
ideal
Fix the agreement mistake
ideals
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,
felling
Correct word choice
and felling
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 to each other. Which is
an
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a
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 crucial part
in
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of
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 communication and
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
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 with other people
Moreover
,
art
classes
 seemed to be an effective technique to improve
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art
 requires students to make decisions, solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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 critically about their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Moreover
,
art
 subject
dare
Change the verb form
dares
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 their
pupil
experiment
Fix the infinitive
to experiment
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 and
training
Replace the word
train
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 to analyze their work journey and achieve more experiences. which is virtual to
pupil
 feeling. strengthens their analytical skills and enhances their ability to think creatively in various contexts. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 arts
classes
such
 as drawing and painting ought to be added
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to high school curricula to help
pupil
 improve their creativity,
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 children’s
express
Replace the word
expression
show examples
 and
finally
 help people
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 logically.
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General
Try to proofread your work to correct small grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structure. For example, 'It can not be undeniable' should be 'It cannot be denied.'
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention studies or real-world examples where art has contributed to child development.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within a paragraph are closely related. This will improve the logical flow and cohesion of your essay.
General
Avoid repetitive phrases and try to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong argument in favor of making art classes compulsory in high school, touching on creativity, self-expression, critical thinking, and problem-solving.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, contributing to overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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