Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?
There is no doubt that these
dayes
sports Correct your spelling
days
became
more popular than ever,and can be seen Wrong verb form
have become
from
every where specially kids and Change preposition
apply
children's
.on Change noun form
children
tv
or social medie
,network and even in a life Correct your spelling
media
ground
like schools l or after schools Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
club
.
In terms of the ability Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
of
reaching Change preposition
to
violence
sports Replace the word
violent
in
Change preposition
on
tv
it's more Add a comma
tv,
danger
to kids Replace the word
dangerous
more
because it could be effective for them and can lead to reacting Correct quantifier usage
apply
those
Change preposition
to those
movment
without realizing it could be Correct your spelling
movements
harm
Replace the word
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
theme
and cause a Correct your spelling
them
serous
Correct your spelling
serious
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
damge
.
Correct your spelling
damage
However
, we cannot banned
it from Change the verb form
ban
tv
or Correct your spelling
TV
socile
Correct your spelling
social
media's
Change noun form
media
channel
because there is another society in the universe Fix the agreement mistake
channels
who
can release it has a different view and can Correct pronoun usage
that
knows
the Change the verb form
know
harm
moves from the Replace the word
harmful
unharm
moves.
In my opinion,Correct your spelling
unharmed
thers
is no need to Correct your spelling
there
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
violencr
sports or martial arts from Correct your spelling
violence
tv
,Correct your spelling
TV
instead
we should put Add a comma
instead,
a
age line on the same Change the article
an
tv
channel and Correct your spelling
TV
warning
them about the dangers Wrong verb form
warn
in
Correct your spelling
of TB
this
tb program
and kids Fix the agreement mistake
programs
is
a Verb problem
apply
bannding
from watching it because it's not suitable and parents should be aware of the warning and be carefully for what Correct your spelling
banning
banding
shoing
on the Correct your spelling
showing
tv
.Submitted by anhar55255 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the main points of the prompt, but it could be improved by providing more detailed arguments and specific examples to support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop your ideas more clearly and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single point. This will help your essay to be more organized and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar, as there are several errors that might confuse the reader. Proofreading your essay before submission can help you catch these mistakes.
task achievement
You clearly express your opinion about the topic and provide a balanced view of arguments both for and against banning violent sports from TV.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.