many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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In
this
Linking Words
day and age, the development of technology on social media
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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opportunities for individuals to communicate with each other easily and get information about the changes around the world.
This
Linking Words
writer believes it helps individuals easier to communicate and
this
Linking Words
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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the disadvantages that social media make children get addicted. It is considerably convenient to socialize and take news involving the changes in the world. To be more specific, it is
resonably
Correct your spelling
reasonably
cheap and affordable for people to talk to their family members, relatives and friends on social apps
such
Linking Words
as
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
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,
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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whenever they want.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, modern technologies are considered crucial factors in sharing and accepting the news
also
Linking Words
the chance to become an online member of international events.
For instance
Linking Words
, somebody who is in a different place from being concert can access virtually
due to
Linking Words
a penpal for participants attending the concert.
However
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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disadvantages that social apps may useless
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. While you started off well, the essay lacks a closing paragraph that ties everything together.
complete response
Address both the advantages and disadvantages in more detail. Make sure to elaborate on the negatives as well rather than leaving it incomplete.
relevant specific examples
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples. Your example about attending a concert virtually was good, but you should include similar examples for the disadvantages.
logical structure
Focus on creating a logical structure. Each paragraph should clearly support your main idea and should lead smoothly into the next.
clear comprehensive ideas
Avoid spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'reasonably' instead of 'resonably'; 'furthermore' instead of 'futhermore'. Minor errors can disrupt the flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay starts with a clear and relevant statement about the advantages of social media.
relevant specific examples
You provided a good example of how social media can make international events accessible.
clear comprehensive ideas
You maintained a formal and academic tone throughout the essay, which is important for IELTS.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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