Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and five your opinion.
The importance of artwork for
children
at school
is a mandatory which always debatable, and has now become more controversial. The importance of art
for the youth generation going to school
has provoked controversy over the potential impact of this
trend on people over the year
. In my opinion, it can be agreed that Fix the agreement mistake
years
the
Correct article usage
apply
art
is a main part of young's lives taking up certain advantages. However
, there are some backwards as well. This
essay will elaborate on the two different opinions and hence
will lead to a logical conclusion.
To start, there are numerous reasons why craft is vital, but the essential one lies in the fatc
that it enhances the Correct your spelling
fact
chil's
imagination, and helps in boosting new skills. Correct your spelling
child's
Moreover
, it produces creativity for young people to think to a new level. Additionally
, children
having a craft in their hobby can prosper their skill for earning money in the future, as a profession. Furthermore
, artist
are more intelligent as compared to other Fix the agreement mistake
artists
children
. For example
, a study published by Forbes revealed that the main reason why student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
get
Verb problem
apply
attended
Wrong verb form
attend
in to
Harvard University is because of their creativity, as they have the capacity Change preposition
apply
reinvent
a product in an already Fix the infinitive
to reinvent
satured
market, Correct your spelling
saturated
therefore
, it is possible
Change the adjective
possibly
seen
how imagination plays a vital role in all aspects of life.
Change the verb form
to see
On the other hand
, approaches to deal with problems of the importances
of Fix the agreement mistake
importance
art
are numerous, but the most effective one is that the government should make rules and regolations
to give prizes and fix Correct your spelling
regulations
salary
for Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
childrend
who do Correct your spelling
children
art
so that their parent should not worry about their future and stop them doing it because useless in life as terms of economic profiency
. Correct your spelling
proficiency
Moreover
, some student only pay attention to drawns
and lose focus on their studies. Correct your spelling
draws
as
a result they end up failing their test. Capitalize word
As
For instance
, a study published by the University of MABA revealed that in Italy, every year they set a studytable
to uptrend science and cultural study arm in arm with crafts.
In conclusion, craftsmanship improves the abilities of Correct your spelling
study table
children
in school
and makes them better people in the world. Therefore
, art
should be needed
subject Correct article usage
a needed
fot
Correct your spelling
for
alumins
in Correct your spelling
alumina
school
. So based on the above-mentioned facts, it can be concluded that,
the impact of Remove the comma
apply
art
is predominant, although
solutions can be well handled for the future generation.Submitted by agostinoninonem on
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task achievement
In the introduction, the phrase 'the importance of artwork for children at school is a mandatory which always debatable' is awkward. Consider rephrasing to something like 'The importance of art for children in school is a topic that has sparked much debate.'
coherence cohesion
Check your essay for grammar and spelling errors. For instance, 'the fatc' should be 'the fact' and 'chil's' should be 'child's'. These errors can interrupt the flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on coherence and cohesion by making sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on a single main idea. The paragraph about the importance of art could be split for clarity, addressing creativity and future economic benefit in separate parts.
coherence cohesion
End with a clear, strong conclusion that summarizes your key points without introducing new information. The conclusion in your essay does this relatively well, but could be more concise.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as studies from Forbes and the University of MABA, add credibility to your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.