Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The importance of artwork for
children
at
school
is a mandatory which always debatable, and has now become more controversial. The importance of
art
for the youth generation going to
school
has provoked controversy over the potential impact of
this
trend on people over the years. In my opinion, it can be agreed that
art
is a main part of young's lives taking up certain advantages.
However
, there are some backwards as well.
This
essay will elaborate on the two different opinions and
hence
will lead to a logical conclusion. To start, there are numerous reasons why craft is vital, but the essential one lies in the fact that it enhances the child's imagination, and helps in boosting new skills.
Moreover
, it produces creativity for young people to think to a new level.
Additionally
,
children
having a craft in their hobby can prosper their skill for earning money in the future, as a profession.
Furthermore
, artists are more intelligent as compared to other
children
.
For example
, a
study
published by Forbes revealed that the main reason why students attend Harvard University is because of their creativity, as they have the capacity to reinvent a product in an already saturated market,
therefore
, it is
possibly
Change the word
possible
show examples
to see how imagination plays a vital role in all aspects of life.
On the other hand
, approaches to deal with problems of the importance of
art
are numerous, but the most effective one is that the government should make rules and regulations to give prizes and fix salaries for
children
who do
art
so that their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should not worry about their future and stop them doing it because useless in life as terms of economic proficiency.
Moreover
, some student only pay attention to draws and lose focus on their studies.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they end up failing their test.
For instance
, a
study
published by the University of MABA revealed that in Italy, every year they set a
study
table
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
uptrend science and cultural
study
arm in arm with crafts. In conclusion, craftsmanship improves the abilities of
children
in
school
and makes them better people in the world.
Therefore
,
art
should be a needed subject for alumina in
school
. So based on the above-mentioned facts, it can be concluded that the impact of
art
is predominant,
although
solutions can be well handled for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
Submitted by agostinoninonem on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks to a single main idea. This will make your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Providing more detailed explanations will enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. This is good practice and contributes to a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the prompt and contributes to task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes some logical connections between ideas, though there is room for improvement in cohesion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
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