some country pay extremely high salaries for people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree.
In these
days, there are well-paid jobs in the market where citizens earn a lot of money. Change preposition
These
People
are considered to believe that salaries
need to be restricted by the government because of equal rights. In my view, if some people
have big incomes, they will have a good effect on the economics of the country
. Moreover
, society might be inspired by the people
who held
an extremely high salary. For Wrong verb form
hold
these
Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
reason
I completely disagree with the statement that the Add a comma
reason,
country
should control salaries
.
When it comes developing
economies , having enormous income Change preposition
to developing
people
can invest their money in cutting-edge technologies, engineerings
and sciences.
Fix the agreement mistake
engineering
Consequently
, technological areas in a country
will be developed much faster than in a country
where the governement
restraints Correct your spelling
government
salaries
. In addition
, well-developed
economy in a Add an article
the well-developed
a well-developed
country
leads to improving level
of living. Add an article
the level
Thus
, high salaries
are beneficial for a country
.
As for inspiring society by the human beings earning high salaries
, it attracts the attention of young
generation who probably will immigrate to a Correct article usage
the young
country
to live sourranded
by rich successful Correct your spelling
surrounded
entrepeneur
. Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
In other words
, many young people
are supposed to think that the
adults having high profits live in a certain Correct article usage
apply
country
because there are comfortable and acceptable accommodations in many different fields for existence. Then
, inspired young people
will do their best to reach the same life-style
thanks to their high income. To summarize, Correct your spelling
lifestyle
due to
human being
tending to upgrade their environment, brilliant young from the whole world immigrate to cities in order to get potentially Replace the word
beings
hight
income.
Correct your spelling
high
To conclude
, if the government did not controll
the salary, Correct your spelling
control
bur
rather Correct your spelling
but
accept
it, the city Wrong verb form
accepted
will
get two positive aspects. The former is a positive influence on the economy. The latter is attracting the best Wrong verb form
would
people
from all countries.Submitted by agostinoninonem on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your argument is clear and logical throughout the essay. For example, try to better connect your ideas on how high salaries influence the economy and society's inspiration.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as these can impact the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. General statements would benefit from concrete examples.
task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction to make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You present a complete response by discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of high salaries.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.