IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a number o f countries, some people thin k it is necessary to spend large sums o f money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money shou ld be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Day by day technology is improving and the world is developing. Quick
transport
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 used to be a big deal in the past but now it has become a norm for many. A majority of people globally debate that their
country
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 is required to spend massive amounts of money on building fast train tracks
while
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 many argue that existing public transportation should be improved. In my opinion, new rail tracks should be built for
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
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trains
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.
However
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, spending large sums on older
transport
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 systems can
also
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 be beneficial because it can help the
country
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 reduce its economic
,
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apply
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 since that
country
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 would not need to spend much money.
Also
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, it will
be decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
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a
Change the article
the
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 number of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the
country
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. There are various other advantages to it
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 assuming new railway lines are not constructed.
This
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 would help reduce carbon emissions because if
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 track
built
Add a missing verb
is built
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 many forests will be cut down. The new
trains
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 will
also
Linking Words
 emit harmful emissions.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, there are many benefits to repairing
Use synonyms
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
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transport
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.
For instance
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, if a person needs to travel out of
city
Add an article
the city
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, there are two main options for them,
firstly
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 they can take a plane and
secondly
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, they can use the train. Airplanes will be more
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
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while
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trains
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 are cheaper. Assuming new tracks are built for rapid transit, it would make it easier for that person to travel less
time consuming
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time-consuming
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.
To conclude
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, improving existing public
transport
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 can be good but it comes with its drawbacks. My belief is that very fast
trains
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 can be a huge help for the majority.

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider using clear paragraphing where each main idea is discussed in a separate paragraph. This helps in enhancing readability.
task achievement
Examples used should be more specific and relevant to strengthen arguments. This shows a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives of the discussion topic.
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