The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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have different views on whether
science
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studises
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studies

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should to studied for
people
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's
lives
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or for other purposes. I would agree that the significant aim of scientific
advanced
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advancement

The word advanced doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is to develop public
lives
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. On the one hand, there are some grounds to support
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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my opinion that scientific studies's major goal
have
Verb problem
is

There may be a verb use issue here.

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to develop
society
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. First of all, almost all
science
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parts are deeply connected with citizen's
lives
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. In general, a variety of
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science advanced
Replace the word
scientific advances

The word science advanced doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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have boosted
quality
Add an article
the quality

The noun phrase quality seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
society
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.
For instance
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, scientific developments have helped one of the vital parts of
people
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which is health. In the past, numerous
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases

It seems that disease may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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lacked proper cures and medicines
such
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as vaccines. Through diverse studies, scientists have
discoverd
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discovered

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effective treatments. It is undeniable that scientific investigations play a crucial role in
people
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's most
improtant
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important

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part.
Moreover
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, agriculture played the main working role in human
society
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before the Industrial Revolution. With scientific advancement,
society
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is
rapidily
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rapidly

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transitioning to modern
society
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. In general,
this
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change led to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb enhance. Consider changing it.

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standards of
people
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's
lives
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and
provide
Wrong verb form
provided

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb provide. Consider changing it.

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many conveniences
such
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as digital devices, machines, and vehicles.
According to
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historical research, when
people
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do not have advanced technological skills, their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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was
Wrong verb form
are

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb was. Consider changing it.

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discomfort and difficulty and even mortalities
increased
Wrong verb form
increase

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb increased. Consider changing it.

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.
In contrast
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, as a lot of
science
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sectors
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

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progressed, many factories, technologies, and
techquines
Correct your spelling
technologies

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could offer some opportunities
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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get a job
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and increase living standards.
Therefore
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, the most important goal of
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science's
Change noun form
science

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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studies should be
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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quality
Correct article usage
the quality

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of human
society
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. In conclusion, it seems to me that it is not a clear-cut issue as there are various reasons for studying
science
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among
people
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.
However
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, I believe that the primary root of scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research

It seems that researches may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject root. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to improve
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Whereas
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, despite there are certain benefits of
this
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view, individuals should carefully weigh up the pros and cons before utilizing scientific developments in
society
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
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task response
While the essay introduces the topic and presents an opinion, there is a need to improve clarity and comprehensiveness in presenting the main ideas. This can be achieved by avoiding repetition and ensuring that each idea is clearly articulated and supported with well-developed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid grammatical inaccuracies. More complex and varied sentence structures will enhance the overall impression of coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical progression of ideas by consistently linking paragraphs and ideas. This will contribute to a smoother flow of ideas and make the essay easier to follow.
task response
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by presenting the topic and stating the writer’s opinion.
task response
The essay includes relevant examples to support the main points, such as the impact of scientific advancements in health and agriculture.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reiterating the writer's stance and highlighting the importance of the discussed issues.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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