The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People
have different views on whether science
studises
should to studied for Correct your spelling
studies
people
's lives
or for other purposes. I would agree that the significant aim of scientific advanced
is to develop public Replace the word
advancement
lives
.
On the one hand, there are some grounds to support that
my opinion that scientific studies's major goal Correct word choice
apply
have
to develop Verb problem
is
society
. First of all, almost all science
parts are deeply connected with citizen's lives
. In general, a variety of science advanced
have boosted Replace the word
scientific advances
quality
of Add an article
the quality
society
. For instance
, scientific developments have helped one of the vital parts of people
which is health. In the past, numerous disease
lacked proper cures and medicines Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as vaccines. Through diverse studies, scientists have discoverd
effective treatments. It is undeniable that scientific investigations play a crucial role in Correct your spelling
discovered
people
's most improtant
part.
Correct your spelling
important
Moreover
, agriculture played the main working role in human society
before the Industrial Revolution. With scientific advancement, society
is rapidily
transitioning to modern Correct your spelling
rapidly
society
. In general, this
change led to enhance
standards of Wrong verb form
enhanced
people
's lives
and provide
many conveniences Wrong verb form
provided
such
as digital devices, machines, and vehicles. According to
historical research, when people
do not have advanced technological skills, their life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
was
discomfort and difficulty and even mortalities Wrong verb form
are
increased
. Wrong verb form
increase
In contrast
, as a lot of science
sectors has
progressed, many factories, technologies, and Correct subject-verb agreement
have
techquines
could offer some opportunities Correct your spelling
technologies
of
get a jobChange preposition
to
,
and increase living standards. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
, the most important goal of science's
studies should be Change noun form
science
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve
quality
of human Correct article usage
the quality
society
.
In conclusion, it seems to me that it is not a clear-cut issue as there are various reasons for studying science
among people
. However
, I believe that the primary root of scientific researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
are
to improve Change the verb form
is
people
's lives
. Whereas
, despite there are certain benefits of this
view, individuals should carefully weigh up the pros and cons before utilizing scientific developments in society
.Submitted by kimjy3329 on
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task response
While the essay introduces the topic and presents an opinion, there is a need to improve clarity and comprehensiveness in presenting the main ideas. This can be achieved by avoiding repetition and ensuring that each idea is clearly articulated and supported with well-developed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid grammatical inaccuracies. More complex and varied sentence structures will enhance the overall impression of coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical progression of ideas by consistently linking paragraphs and ideas. This will contribute to a smoother flow of ideas and make the essay easier to follow.
task response
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by presenting the topic and stating the writer’s opinion.
task response
The essay includes relevant examples to support the main points, such as the impact of scientific advancements in health and agriculture.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reiterating the writer's stance and highlighting the importance of the discussed issues.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.