IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

One of your friends in a foreign country is starting an import-export business, and he has asked you to recommend a product from your country to him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: say what product you want to recommend to him tell him where he/she can get this product explain why you want to recommend this product

#friends #country #business #product #friend
Hello John, How are you? It's been a long time, I hope you are doing well. I heard you are starting a new business, and I am writing
this
 letter to you to suggest a few items that you can add
into
Change preposition
to
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 your business portfolio of import-export.
Firstly
, I congratulate you for starting your dream project, I am sure with your skills and expertise you will reach greater heights in your new endeavour.
Also
, I would like to suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
add Bangles to your portfolio. Do you remember? during your
last
 year's visit, I gave you a tour of
Hyderabad
, and we visited that street called Lad Bazaar, they sell bangles at Wholesale prices and you can find a lot of varieties over there.
Moreover
, they give extra discounts to people who are in
import-export
Add an article
the import-export
show examples
 business. Even, the state government
also
 encourages and supports buyers from outside
Hyderabad
.
Although
,
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apply
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 it's kind of old fashion thing these days, believe me, people do prefer it on special
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
, you will surprised to know that 4% of
hyderabad's
Change the capitalization
Hyderabad's
show examples
revenue comes from the import-export of bangles.
Furthermore
, considering the large
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population of
Hyderabad
's citizens in Canada, it would be a wise decision to include it in your portfolio. Do consider it and let me know if can be of any help to you.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
 plan to meet soon. Best of luck, XYZ
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each idea connects more seamlessly to the next. Transition words and phrases would benefit the letter's flow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors, which can affect the overall clarity of your message.
task achievement
Adding some details about the potential market for these bangles in the recipient's country could further strengthen your task response.
greeting and closing
The opening and closing of the letter are warm and personal, fitting the context of writing to a friend.
task achievement
The letter provides a clear and complete response to each point in the task description. The product, its sourcing, and the rationale for recommending it are all well-covered.
suitable writing tone
The writing tone is appropriate for a friendly letter, which makes it engaging and personable.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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