Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subject, so it should be compusory in high schools. To what extent do you argee or disagree ?

Subject
Fix the agreement mistake
Subjects
show examples
related to
art
, like drawing or painting
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a crucial role in the growth of a child,
as a result
, high schools should let
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
learn as an obligation class.
This
author disagrees with the statement because
art
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
more on
talent
and
to relieve
Change the verb form
relieves
show examples
stress among students. First and foremost,
talent
is the most important factor in
art
. To explain, without
talent
, a child cannot
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
well enough in painting or drawing, which
demand
Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
show examples
a
highly creation
Replace the word
high creative
show examples
ability.
Moreover
, their
talent
can help them appreciate the aesthetic qualities of
art
.
For example
, van Gogh was known as a brilliant artist, who
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
many priceless works of
art
.
Furthermore
, adding
art
as an optional
subject
in high school can lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
quantity of knowledge that students have to learn.
Besides
, some main
discipline
Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
show examples
including math,
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
or chemistry related to many
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
in society
while
art
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a particular area.
Therefore
, cutting down
an
Change preposition
on an
show examples
obligation
subject
can reduce stress among students. In conclusion, high
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should not add painting and drawing as an obligatory
subject
because
art
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the gift
a gift
show examples
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
.
Otherwise
, it
also
reduces stress that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
have suffered.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is great. However, in some places, the ideas are not fully elaborated or supported with comprehensive examples. To improve, try to provide more concrete examples and develop your arguments further.
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in the essay. For instance, "art depend more on talent" should be "art depends more on talent". Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar to convey your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay can be enhanced. Some ideas are not smoothly connected. Using transition words and phrases can help improve coherence. For instance, when moving from one point to another, use phrases like 'Moreover', 'In addition', or 'On the other hand'.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but can be stronger. A good introduction should briefly outline the main points you will discuss, and a strong conclusion should succinctly summarize your main arguments while reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
Your essay clearly states your position on the importance of art in education, which is a good foundation for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps with readability and structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Creativity
  • Emotional expression
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global awareness
  • Fine motor skills
  • Collaboration
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Retention
  • Creative process
  • Career opportunities
  • Arts education
  • Symbolic expression
  • Empathy
  • Academic performance
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