Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subject, so it should be compusory in high schools. To what extent do you argee or disagree ?
Subject
related to Fix the agreement mistake
Subjects
art
, like drawing or painting are
Verb problem
apply
playing
a crucial role in the growth of a child, Wrong verb form
play
as a result
, high schools should let student
learn as an obligation class. Fix the agreement mistake
students
This
author disagrees with the statement because art
depend
more on Change the verb form
depends
talent
and to relieve
stress among students.
First and foremost, Change the verb form
relieves
talent
is the most important factor in art
. To explain, without talent
, a child cannot involve
well enough in painting or drawing, which Wrong verb form
be involved
demand
a Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
highly creation
ability. Replace the word
high creative
Moreover
, their talent
can help them appreciate the aesthetic qualities of art
. For example
, van Gogh was known as a brilliant artist, who create
many priceless works of Wrong verb form
created
art
.
Furthermore
, adding art
as an optional subject
in high school can lead to decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
the
quantity of knowledge that students have to learn. Change preposition
in the
Besides
, some main discipline
including math, Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
physic
or chemistry related to many Fix the agreement mistake
physics
field
in society Change to a plural noun
fields
while
art
just
a particular area. Add a missing verb
is just
Therefore
, cutting down an
obligation Change preposition
on an
subject
can reduce stress among students.
In conclusion, high school
should not add painting and drawing as an obligatory Fix the agreement mistake
schools
subject
because art
related
more Add a missing verb
is related
on
Change preposition
to
Add an article
the gift
a gift
gift
. Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
Otherwise
, it also
reduces stress that student
have suffered.Fix the agreement mistake
students
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is great. However, in some places, the ideas are not fully elaborated or supported with comprehensive examples. To improve, try to provide more concrete examples and develop your arguments further.
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in the essay. For instance, "art depend more on talent" should be "art depends more on talent". Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar to convey your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay can be enhanced. Some ideas are not smoothly connected. Using transition words and phrases can help improve coherence. For instance, when moving from one point to another, use phrases like 'Moreover', 'In addition', or 'On the other hand'.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but can be stronger. A good introduction should briefly outline the main points you will discuss, and a strong conclusion should succinctly summarize your main arguments while reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
Your essay clearly states your position on the importance of art in education, which is a good foundation for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps with readability and structure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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