Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?
In recent times,
art
courses, regard
as painting and drawing are as crucial to Wrong verb form
regarded
a
Correct article usage
the
develop
of children as other core subjects, Replace the word
development
therefore
, it
should be obligatory for students in Correct pronoun usage
they
university
. Add an article
the university
a university
This
writer will agree with this
statement and show the viewpoint in this
essay.
One key argument is that during the
Correct article usage
apply
art
lessons, children can improve various skill issues and knowledge. Because of the massive topic in each painting lesson so
student can Change preposition
apply
easy to
come up with Replace the word
easily
the
new Correct article usage
apply
idea
that gain lots of opportunities to think creatively and flexibly that can portray their picturesque masterpiece. Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
Moreover
, they can show their own initiative about the decisions that need to brainstorm idea
in order to solve a difficult topic in each curriculum of the university. Take Leonardo Da Vinci as an example, who assumes that it is effortless for individuals , especially the young to be not only more and more creative but Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
also
show a lot of initiative in studying and working environments, becoming a well-known artist, accomplishing various awards of the world.
Another noticeable advantage of art
is more future career choices for undergraduates. What I mean is when children are taught art
in school, they could develop that into a career. Studying forms of art
gives learners opportunities to be interested in art
. If individuals have enough motivation and passion, they would be able to improve their skills, and ability or gravitate their social relationships toward great, talented artists who have the same interests as them. All this
will lead to more chances for students to take up a
Change the article
an
art
hobby and make a living out of it.
Taking everything into account, art
is very vital for the growth of youngsters and should be a major class in the education system. Because of the upsides of potential creativity improvement and future life chances.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your introduction is somewhat clear but slightly off-topic. You wrote 'students in university' which should be 'high schools' as per the prompt. Make sure to fully address the prompt's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are relevant, but there are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing that may make it harder for the reader to follow your argument. For example, 'easy to come up with the new idea' should be 'easier to come up with new ideas.'
task achievement
You've effectively outlined multiple reasons why art is important, covering creativity, future career prospects, and initiative.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a coherent structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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