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Writing Samples
Band 5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child’ development as other objects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent you agree or disagree

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In today’s society, the issue of whether many
art
Use synonyms
subjects
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 should be compulsory to learn in the curriculum of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school or not has sparked a degree of controversy among people.
Although
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this
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 tendency appears some problems, I do totally concur with
this
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. On the one hand, I accept that there are some major problems in many
art
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classes
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. First of all, not all
children
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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study
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 these
subjects
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 because of the talent requirements for arts. Much scientific evidence showcases that each
of
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apply
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offspring owns
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 sector, the possibility to draw or paint,
for example
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, not all
children
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 have potential in
art
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 and they would be disappointed about
this
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 thing, which has negative effects on the
desiration
Correct your spelling
destination
desperation
 to
study
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.
Secondly
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,
children
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 tend to spend lots of time on
art
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 that easily
to
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apply
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forget the other
subjects
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.
For instance
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, if offspring have the task of painting, they may allocate almost their
time of
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whole
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a
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apply
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day to complete the mission, so they
couldn't
Verb problem
don't
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 have enough time to
study
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 other things
such
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 as English or Math, which negatively results in the promotion of
study
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. Notwithstanding, I agree with those
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
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 that
art
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classes
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 should be added to become
a compulsory
Correct the article-noun agreement
a compulsory subject
compulsory subjects
show examples
subjects
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.
Firstly
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,
art
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classes
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 would enhance the ability
of
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to
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creation
Replace the word
create
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 in the brain of the child. Some scientists argue that
children
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 are likely to expand more views
in
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on
show examples
 many aspects of life through studying
art
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subjects
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. To give you evidence, my brother used to engage in a painting class, he could improve his creation when he approached
with
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apply
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many different prestigious
painting
Fix the agreement mistake
paintings
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, which
makes
Wrong verb form
made
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 him develop
the
Change the word
his
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 painting skills.
Secondly
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, the logic of many
art
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subjects
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. Lots of evidence
showcase
Correct subject-verb agreement
showcases
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 that
children
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 who
study
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art
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subjects
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 tend to make a
decison
Correct your spelling
decision
 logically, which helps them have plain sailing in their jobs. In conclusion, it seems to me that
art
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classes
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 should be
coumpulsory
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 in
the
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apply
show examples
high school brings more benefits than it seems just
a
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apply
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minor
subjectsubjects
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subjects
. By understanding all the pros and cons,
children
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 should
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 the best decision for themselves

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clarity
Ensure every idea is expressed clearly and concisely. Some sentences are lengthy and complex, which affects clarity.
details
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This adds credibility and depth to your arguments.
grammar
Proofread for grammatical errors and ensure precise word choices. For example, 'offspring' should be 'children,' and 'trajectory' should be 'development.'
structure
You have a solid structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in the logical flow of the essay.
balanced arguments
You have made a clear argument and presented points for both sides of the topic, showing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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