Scientist agree that many people eat too much chunk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss both video and give your opinion.

#scientist #people #chunk #food #health #education #work #video

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Researchers have different views about the prevention of consuming processed

food

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it can be controlled through education, in my opinion, these setbacks can be curbed by the government increasing the prices of fast

meals

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, educating

people

Use synonyms

on the need not to consume canned

meals

Use synonyms

can be beneficial.

This

Linking Words

is because some

people

Use synonyms

are not aware of the detrimental effect those

meals

Use synonyms

could have on their health. Professors can use animations

such

Linking Words

as how

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

has

damages

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

individual hearts, or livers just to create awareness for these folk.

For instance

Linking Words

, the vast majority of Ghanaians used to consume

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

because they did not know the harmful effects of it,

however

Linking Words

after the Ministry of Education impacted knowledge on

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

folk, they realised the effect of it

as a result

Linking Words

, the

take

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

this

Linking Words

meal has dwindled.

This

Linking Words

has helped reduce the risk of some

people

Use synonyms

having conditions

such

Linking Words

as hypertension and even becoming obese.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, authorities can mitigate

this

Linking Words

problem by increasing the price of those

meals

Use synonyms

. A lot of

people

Use synonyms

always have a different opinion when purchasing goods that are expensive. They mostly desist from buying

such

Linking Words

goods. The same thing applies to

junk

Use synonyms

meals

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

will not have the interest of buying them because of the price.

For example

Linking Words

, Kenja was among the highest countries where its members love consuming canned

food

Use synonyms

as a result

Linking Words

, the vast majority of them

were having

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

diseases

such

Linking Words

as hypertension,

myocardial

Correct word choice

and myocardial

show examples

infarction. After the government raised the amount, the intake of fast

meals

Use synonyms

was reduced and

this

Linking Words

has

subsequently

Linking Words

prevented most companies from importing fast

meals

Use synonyms

from other countries. If the state had not elevated the amount,

people

Use synonyms

would be still buying them. It is in view of

this

Linking Words

that I opine that, aside from education, consuming processed

meals

Use synonyms

can be curbed effectively by authorities increasing the price. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

impacting knowledge on humankind can help reduce the intake of

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, I believe that authorities can mitigate

this

Linking Words

effectively by raising the amount of

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

Submitted by boadimaxwell48 on Fri May 24 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a complete response to the prompt, discussing both views about preventing the consumption of processed food and providing your opinion clearly. However, consider improving the clarity and completeness of your ideas in some parts of the essay, especially the introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the issue and your opinion, setting a good stage for the essay. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant specific examples, like the situation in Ghana and Kenya, which help support your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Scientist agree that many people eat too much chunk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss both video and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many societies, there is less social contact between the elderly and the young. What are the reasons and what measures can be taken?

In spite of technological developments in transportation, many people believe that a bicycle is the best way to reach in any destination. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using a bicycle nowadays?

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable

the responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnationa organiztaion or every country.