Some people think that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others, however, believe that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Education
is a cornerstone of human development, shaping the lives into
Change preposition
of
individuals
and influencing social progress. The purpose
of education
has always been a topic of debate. Some people advocate that the role of education
is to train individuals
to contribute to society
, while
others believe that the role of education
is to realize personal ambitions.
On the one hand, I think education
should cultivate personal
that are useful to Replace the word
personnel
society
, supporters say, Correct word choice
that received
received
a good Wrong verb form
receiving
education
of people is critical to social cohesion and progress.By inculcating the right values, education
enables individuals
to contribute meaningfully to their communities.In addition
, the education
for individual labor
, Change the spelling
labour
make
sure they have the necessary skills and knowledge, in order to meet the needs of different industries and departments. Through Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
education
, individuals
develop critical thinking skills that enable them to tackle complex societal challenges and drive positive change.On the other hand
, I advocate that education
should prioritize individuals
with personal aspirations, emphasizing the importance of individual empowerment and fulfillment
. I believe that Change the spelling
fulfilment
education
should not only meet the needs of society
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
cultivate individual talents and ambitions.By encouraging individual ambition, education
fosters creativity, innovation and self-expression, resulting in a more vibrant and dynamic society
.Furthermore
, the sense of personal achievement derived from pursuing one's passions and interests contributes to overall
well-being and happiness, ultimately enriching the social fabric.
In my opinion, although
both views have their own advantages, but
the main Remove the conjunction
apply
purpose
of education
should be to cultivate personal ideals.A comprehensive education
system should give priority to individual growth and development while
also
acknowledging the importance of social contribution.By cultivating personal ideal
, Fix the agreement mistake
ideals
education
make
people can give full play to their potential, to make unique Verb problem
allows
contribution
to Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
society
.In addition
, focus
on personal achievement will enhance their sense of life sense of Wrong verb form
focusing
purpose
and meaning, resulting in a
greater Remove the article
apply
overall
satisfaction and happiness.
In conclusion, the purpose
of education
is multifaceted, encompassing both societal utility and personal fulfillment
. Change the spelling
fulfilment
While
education
plays a crucial role in preparing individuals
to contribute to society
, it should also
prioritize nurturing personal ambitions. By striking a balance between these objectives, education
can truly serve the needs of both individuals
and society
, fostering a more prosperous and harmonious future.Submitted by fiasngs on
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task achievement
While your essay demonstrates a solid attempt to tackle the topic, it would benefit from more specific and varied examples to better support your arguments. Try to use concrete instances or studies to illustrate how education can contribute to both societal utility and personal ambition.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of the essay lack clarity and contain grammatical errors, which disrupt the flow. It’s important to ensure your sentences are well-constructed and free of errors to convey your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, work on linking your ideas more fluidly. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets up the discussion well. It’s evident that you have a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a strong ending to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.