IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the best way to deal with the problem related to traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in suburbs and the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is an argument that
someone
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some
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 believe that if all
people
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 move to urban
areas
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, the
problems
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 related to traffic and transportation will be solved immediately. I firmly disagree.
Although
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 there is an advantage
such
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 as
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
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of
Change preposition
in
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 using private cars, there will be some disadvantages for
people
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 who live in
city
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the city
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center
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centre
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. The first one that comes to my mind is that individuals who live in cities spend much more money rather than those who live in rural
areas
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.
This
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 is mainly because they tend to spend more money on apartment rents and daily bills, resulting from
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
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apartments
Change the noun form
apartment
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 supply in
city
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the city
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center
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centre
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.
People
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also
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 suffer from air pollution and noise
problems
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, resulting in mental disorders
such
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 as sleeping
problems
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.
However
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, moving citizens to rural
areas
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 can not address the
problems
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 of traffic. Even if all
people
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 move to rural places,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 private cars may be seen
in
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on
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 urban roads,
whereas
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 the limited capacity of public transportation will be witnessed.
In other words
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, the underground can not be caught by commuters in rush time. In spite of convenience in
acommodation
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accommodation
 and infrastructure, if
almost
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most
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people
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 live in cities, it would lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 poor quality of living, as the waste of urban residents may pile up resulting from a lack of cleaners. In conclusion, even if
people
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 moved to rural
areas
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, the traffic
condition
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conditions
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 in urban places would not be improved because of the cities' limited capacity of public transportation.
However
Linking Words
, it is beneficial for individuals to choose the location where they tend to live, in that case, they can save money from paying high rents of flats in
city
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the city
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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.
Aditionally
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Additionally
, they can have a better mood when they live in
countryside
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the countryside
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 rather than when they are crowded in
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
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.

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task response
For task response, make sure to clearly articulate the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, and ensure all points are explicitly connected to your stance.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider further improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Use more transitional words to guide the reader through your argument.
structure
You have a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, which enhances readability.
support
Your main points are well-supported and explained, providing a comprehensive view of your perspective.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reiterates your stance, making it clear to the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transportation
  • traffic congestion
  • private vehicles
  • urban areas
  • long commutes
  • population density
  • sustainable transportation
  • efficient transportation options
  • cycling lanes
  • pedestrian pathways
  • advanced transit systems
  • overcrowding
  • transportation infrastructure
  • urban development
  • pollution
  • quality of life
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