Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is common for
people
believe
Add the particle
to believe
show examples
that the advent of new technologies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
aliminating
Correct your spelling
eliminating
the main
functions
of traditional
libraries
.
Although
I
accpect
Correct your spelling
expect
that
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of
technology
has a lot of
influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
show examples
on
people
's reading habits, I disagree with the idea that computer
technology
can replace the
functions
of
convential
Correct your spelling
conventional
libraries
. On the one hand,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of
technology
for reading
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
lots of benefits for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
To begin
with, online
libraries
provide convenience for readers,
while
customers of traditional
libraries
need to move to these to use resources, virtual
libraries
users can have
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
access to information at any time.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, using modern
technology
to read
electrinic
Correct your spelling
electronic
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
(
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
)
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the internet
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
as wasteful as going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
libraries
. Since these
libraries
are more
cost- effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
thanks to it does not include paper
books
, which helps eliminate the need for storage space.
For instance
,
instead
of building dozens of
high- rise
Correct your spelling
high-rise
show examples
bookshelves and warehouses to store
books
,
people
only need to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
e-book pages to read as they are stored very modern.
On the other hand
, there are
also
good grounds to argue that many
functions
of traditional
libraries
would become redundant
due to
advent
Correct article usage
the advent
show examples
of new
technology
.
Firstly
,
convential
Correct your spelling
conventional
libraries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
for borrowing and lending
books
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
serves
Correct subject-verb agreement
serve
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many other purposes.
This
is exemplified by these
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a peaceful and
scholary
Correct your spelling
scholarly
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
of the
libraries
that support
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
focus on reading or learning.
Secondly
, some rare
books
and special documents are not available in digital format, and public
libraries
are those which
prossess
Correct your spelling
process
possess
these special resources.
Nonetheless
, there are several popular websites
allow
Correct pronoun usage
that allow
show examples
users
consume
Fix the infinitive
to consume
show examples
some rare documents only when their customers pay a fee. Naturally, very few
people
make that trade. In conclusion, though there are some advantages of using
technology
to support
people
's reading purposes, I believe that keeping
convential
Correct your spelling
conventional
libraries
is not
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
finance
Replace the word
of financial
show examples
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
thanks to their
functions
with
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public.
Submitted by nguyentungchi345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on refining your grammar and vocabulary to ensure more accurate language use. Try breaking down your ideas into simpler sentences to avoid grammatical errors.
examples
Use more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your arguments and make your points more persuasive.
linking words
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more varied linking words and phrases. This will help your essay flow better and make it more enjoyable to read.
task response
You've shown a clear understanding of the topic and have provided a balanced view by presenting arguments for both sides. This shows a well-rounded approach.
structure introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, which provides a clear framework for your essay.
vocabulary
You made a good effort to use sophisticated vocabulary and expressions. This adds depth to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: