It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

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It is
necessity
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necessary
show examples
for persons to take risks in their professional and personal lives. The
Use synonyms
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
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may
get failure
Verb problem
fail
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initially
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,
however
Linking Words
, I believe that later on they achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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success. The essay will discuss both merits and demerits and argue it. There are advantages for
Use synonyms
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
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in their lives. Some people take
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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while
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working at
office
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the office
an office
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. They change their stable job and join other
company
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companies
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for the sake of money and other benefits.
On
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In
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first
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the first
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stage, they disturb their family
life
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and move to other places.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, settle down
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in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
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new place. There are chances that they may regret their decision, but, later
on
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on,
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realize the value of
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risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
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in terms of financial stability and enhancing
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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. Same way, some risky decision
on
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in
show examples
personal lives
also
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gives
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
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, reliable and successful
life
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.
For example
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, many parents take
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risk
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risks
show examples
and send their children
for
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apply
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abroad
study
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to study
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at
young
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a young
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age.
Although
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, there are a number of issues known by them
but
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apply
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they think for better future of their wards.
On the other hand
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,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
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can be
wrong
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a wrong
the wrong
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decision. It may vanish
whole
Correct pronoun usage
my whole
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life
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. It has been seen that some people take significant
Use synonyms
risk
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risks
show examples
in
stock
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the stock
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market. They invest massive
amount
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amounts
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by taking
loan
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loans
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or selling properties. They assume that
Stock
Correct article usage
the Stock
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market can make them
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
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in
short
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a short
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span of time.
As a result
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, they become bankrupt . As per research conducted by
University
Correct article usage
the University
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of Japan in the year 2023. a number of new investors who invested in
stock
Add an article
the stock
show examples
market during corona by taking
risk
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became poor and lost everything. In conclusion,
at
Change preposition
to
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some extent taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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may meet our future
goal
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goals
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and
get
Verb problem
achieve
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success,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, considering the
risk
Use synonyms
factor, we should be ready for any challenges and adverse effects.
Submitted by ahv on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from clearer and more detailed examples that directly support your main points. Try to be more specific in your examples to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent structure throughout your essay. Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that sums up the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and offers a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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