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Band 4.5

Some people think that staying in hotels is not a good option to know about a country or its people. What do you think about this viewpoint?

#people #hotels #option #country
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people
 believe that when you sit in the
hotels
 is not a suitable choice to know about the country or
people
 there
While
 others tend to disagree and think that it is a good thing when you stay in
hotels
.
This
 topic should be examined carefully before forming an opinion. Both points of view will be discussed in the following essay. Many
people
 believe that when staying in
hotels
 is not a good option for several reasons.
For example
, a study published by New York University concluded that 30% of
people
 like to stay in
hotels
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because that to
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 more
relxing
Correct your spelling
relaxing
 time away from on noise and crowd there .
In addition
, Some countries do not have a gorgeous side in the city
also
 maybe they have
a dangers
Correct the article-noun agreement
dangers
a danger
show examples
 and risk to
people
's lives. Some
people
 feel enjoy and more comfortable in
hotels
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
outdoor
Change preposition
in outdoor
show examples
 places
Which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
others
also
 have the same opinion and they said
teek
Correct your spelling
take
 a break until they have a source of energy to go out. Alternatively, others argue that
this
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
bad method
people
do
Verb problem
use
show examples
 when staying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hotels
. For illustrate, the same society said if you do not know about
culture
Add an article
the culture
a culture
show examples
, traditions of
people
 and countries
also
 the history place there you definitely not will enjoy it and fall over the moon .
Moreover
, some
people
 will lose the activities and experience of outdoor places. In short, staying in
hotels
 is a controversial topic with different views. Both opinions have their merits in balance . Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer that the advantages of going out in
hotels
 are more than negative.
Submitted by alasu8899 on

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Writing Mechanics
Ensure you proofread your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues to enhance clarity and readability.
Content Development
Elaborate more on your main points with specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, provide specific cultural experiences one might miss out on while staying in hotels.
Organization
Improve logical structure by clearly separating different points of view and ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Understanding of Topic
The essay attempts to address both viewpoints, which shows an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Conclusion Effectiveness
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and presents a clear personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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