IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lot of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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Over the past few decades, there has been a notable trend of
people
Use synonyms
 migrating from rural areas to urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, resulting in a host of challenges for both
cities
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 and villages. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the primary issues arising from
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and propose potential solutions to address these complex problems. First of all, mass migration creates a plethora of problems
such
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 as rising
houses price
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house prices
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 and
traffic
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 congestion. To illustrate,
people
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 are moving to
cities
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 for better
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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 or jobs and
due to
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this
Linking Words
 trend number of dwellers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 higher compared to land
consequently
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 property dealers doubled the
houses
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house's
houses'
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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.
Secondly
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, more
people
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 more cars and more
traffic
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. It has been observed in
Linking Words
last
Change the article
the last
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 couple of years that metropolitan
cities
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 are facing
traffic
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 jams.
For example
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, in
Japan
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Japan,
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 several
people
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 moved to Shanghai from
countryside
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the countryside
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 and now they are
spending1
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spending 1
 to 1
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
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 in
traffic
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 every morning.
However
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, just as every lock has a key, every problem has a solution. To mitigate
this
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 issue, the government can build better infrastructure to reduce
traffic
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 congestion.
For example
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, in Mumbai, the population density is three times higher than the geographical area can comfortably support, but
due to
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 improved road infrastructure,
people
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 rarely experience
traffic
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 jams.
Similarly
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, by developing advanced construction projects in and around
cities
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, the government and property developers can help reduce housing inflation.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the trend of migration from rural areas to urban
centers
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centres
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 is unlikely to cease, and it is expected that even more
people
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 will move to
cities
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 in the future. By introducing better infrastructure and promoting development, we can effectively manage and mitigate the issues arising from
this
Linking Words
 ongoing migration.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear task response and covers the main points, but try to delve deeper into the discussion of specific problems and solutions. Flesh out your ideas more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring smooth transitions between points and refining your logical structure slightly. This will maintain clarity and help readers follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are supported with valid examples, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbation
  • infrastructure stress
  • depopulation
  • economic stagnation
  • environmental degradation
  • breakdown of family units
  • traditional lifestyles
  • urban unemployment
  • underemployment
  • rural development programs
  • public transport
  • remote and flexible working
  • urban green spaces
  • community-based projects
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