IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001.

The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001.
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The given line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of prisoners
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 two genders in a country in
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 from 1911 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
male
Add an article
the male
show examples
 prison population increased
while
Linking Words
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 decreased.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of boys
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to prison
higher
Add a missing verb
was higher
show examples
 than the girls
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeframe. Looking at
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in
further
Linking Words
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to prison was nearly 20,000 at the start and remained stable
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 next ten years before
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 down
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 half the
number
Use synonyms
prisoners
Change preposition
of prisoners
show examples
 in 1911
then
Linking Words
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 up again
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1951 and 1971. Between 1971 and 1981, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of prisoners increased significantly to approximately double the population at the beginning and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to
went
Change the verb
go
show examples
 up to around 45,000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Turing
Correct your spelling
Turning
show examples
 to the female, starting at about 3,100 and went down rapidly the next 40 years to under 1,000 in 1941 before
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 slowly up to around 1,800 in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • steady rise
  • sharp decline
  • plateau
  • spike
  • dip
  • trend
  • peak
  • period
  • decade
  • stable
  • significant change
  • historical context
  • socio-political factors
  • implications
  • legal system
  • economy
  • social services
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