IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

#countries #world #life #expectancy #situation
Nowadays, the way city planners design the areas of the living for general public has been a prevailing concern for many countries. I completely believe
that is
 national to assign
individuals
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individual
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 areas for each section like for
house
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houses
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 and
office
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offices
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. There are numerous ways through which area developers help us to organize and state efficiently, the most
pre penetrant
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pre-penetrant
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 one stems from the fact that they are aware of the understand how many academic institutions are required near resident areas so that little kids do not have to travel a lot for their students.
Hence
 by putting
a
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in a
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little effort, we are saving
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of many children and giving a calm atmosphere for working people.
However
, it may appear half empty to
other
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others
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, so
at
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, at
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Add an article
the time
a time
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time
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times
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, many societies are not organized in
a
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the
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 way that they
are suppose
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are supposed
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due to
 which many residents have to face challenges to do their daily activities.
For example
, Grogram has become a hub of multinational companies because
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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everyone is facing heaving traffic during peak hours. It has become difficult to reach at office on time In conclusion, I Reiter cite that city
planner
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planners
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 are qualified enough to comprehend a
states
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state's
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need
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needs
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 and the benefits of organizing any place beforehand. One many,
for instance
 making place for rain acter
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task response
Ensure your essay addresses the specific topic given. You seem to have written about city planning rather than increasing life expectancy. Make sure to stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion. This will help improve cohesion and make your argument easier to follow.
task response
Develop your main points with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
general
Carefully proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrases. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear attempt to structure arguments and provide examples, which is a good foundation.
task response
The effort to present both advantages and disadvantages shows a balanced approach, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • demographics
  • societal development
  • healthcare system
  • pension funds
  • multigenerational
  • workforce
  • economic sustainability
  • intergenerational inequality
  • longevity
  • proactive policy
  • geriatrics
  • senior citizens
  • ageing population
  • fertility rates
  • dependency ratio
What to do next:
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