Differences between countries are becoming less evident .Nowadays people are watching the same films ,fashions ,brands ,advertisements and TV channels .To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
Some
people
think that unique between nations are turning into
less evident .Today ,individuals are watching the similar Verb problem
becoming
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
such
as films ,clothing ,brand s
,advertisements and TV programs .Correct your spelling
brands
This
essay agree
that it is worse to watch the same Change the verb form
agrees
contents
rather than the benefits of Fix the agreement mistake
content
this
view.
There are several main reasons to explain why watching the same programs is beneficial .The primarily
is it Change the word
primary
follow
global Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
fashion
trends which make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
traveling
easier .What I mean is ,when all countries have the same Change the spelling
travelling
contents
,there is no Fix the agreement mistake
content
anything
new for Correct pronoun usage
nothing
people
to exploit and broaden their horizons ,so they can travel comfortably and do not get issues during traveling
.Change the spelling
travelling
Also
,the same things
can be approached by all ages ,which leads to be
more popular and Change the verb form
being
understand
clearly .Wrong verb form
understanding
Subsequently
,traveling will become more accepted with
Change preposition
by
people
who is
afraid of trying new Change the verb form
are
things
or getting
problems Verb problem
having
about
Change preposition
with
this
,and it can take more advantages from its popularity.
However
,it also
has
some reasons to prove watching the same Verb problem
apply
things
has some serious disadvantages .The most noticeable is the loss of diversity .It means people
will be boring
because of the repetition Replace the word
bored
in
what they watch .Take Change preposition
of
fashion
as an example , when they go shopping ,they want to find out the
suitable and good clothes for their Correct article usage
apply
favorite
and wallet .But the advertisements about Change the spelling
favourite
fashion
are similar ,make people
uncomfortable and confused , they can not find what they like and people
can be dull.
In conclusion ,the disadvantage
of watching Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
the
some Remove the article
apply
things
like films ,fashion
,brands ,advertisements and TV channels are outweighed
Wrong verb form
outweigh
its
advantages .Correct pronoun usage
their
Hence
,the differences between countries ought to become more distinctive.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
While the essay touches upon both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, it could benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to support the points made. This would enhance clarity and make the arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay. Additionally, break down complex sentences for easier comprehension.
language and grammar
Pay attention to grammar and syntax. There were several minor errors in punctuation, verb agreement, and article usage. Proofreading or using a grammar check tool can help identify and correct these errors.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which are crucial for structuring an argumentative piece. The conclusion clearly addresses the main argument, reinforcing the writer’s stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address multiple sides of the issue, showcasing the writer's ability to consider various perspectives.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite