Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advetisements and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It has become increasingly common today
fo
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for
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individuals to
the
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apply
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survellance
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surveillance
of
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apply
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the same movies,
style
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styles
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,
cesures
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pictures
,
notification
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notifications
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and TV channels.
Althoughtmany
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Although many
point out that countries are becoming less obvious. I would argue that the benefits for society as a whole overshadow these perceived drawbacks. One of the focal advantages of
glanning
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planning
glancing
same
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the same
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external programs
that
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is that
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can support more
about
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apply
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domestic's knowledge.
In other words
, people can encounter new experiences that are necessary for future work or study. From prior knowledge, most employers from inner countries
has
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have
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finit well informed, to distinguish between
who
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those who
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study about foreign cultural
also
developed other skills that can potentially benefit their corporation.
Thus
, attending extraneous television programs can acquisition away from academics a practical necessity. Avoiding burnout must
also
be considered it must be recognised that English
are
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is
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now being widely
use
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used
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.
A
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As
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a result,
where as
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whereas
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Ielts is becoming popular, people studying that speech for owning a well-paid job. Thereby, mortals should
considered
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consider
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to
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apply
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watching exterior television that could help their
career
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careers
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.
Finally
, the culture and tradition of a nation change over time even without the interference of any alien influence.
Hence
restricting the overwhelming facilities
this
trend brings is not a good idea at all, especially when the world still has a huge wealth gap and animosity among nations. Taking all
point
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points
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ito
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into
account, the
possible
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possibility
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of watching external TV
is being
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apply
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outweigh
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outweighs
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the opportunity to
gain
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have
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harmful
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a harmful
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effect on the nation's mind.
Hence
, viewing extraneous things can be more beneficial
fornations
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formations
for nations
before communing with tertiary cultivation.
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general
Your introduction needs to succinctly outline the key points you will discuss in the essay. Try to clearly state your position and briefly mention the main advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearer and more comprehensively developed. Try to elaborate on each point with detailed explanations and examples. Avoid making assumptions that might not be clear to the reader.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help in illustrating your arguments and making them more convincing.
task achievement
Avoiding burnout and the influence of English on job opportunities are good points but should be articulated more clearly to make them more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Some of your paragraphs lack clear logical flow. Aim for a clearer organization of ideas, ensuring each point follows logically from the previous one.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in improving the overall flow and readability of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are balanced and provide a clear summary of your key points.
general
It's great that you have attempted to address both sides of the argument. This helps to present a balanced view.
task achievement
You have identified several relevant points, like the necessity of foreign knowledge for job opportunities and cultural changes over time. These are good areas for discussion.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion which frames your essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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