IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.
#information #three #categories #workers #australia #unemployment #levels #groups
Contained in the pie chart is data pertaining to three types of employees in
Australia
.
Additionally
, the line graph provides dynamics for the proportion of three different joblessness groups from 1993 to 2003.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that the majority of the workforce
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 born in
Australia
. It can
also
 be observed that the nonemployment rate for all three groups decreased during the decade.
To begin
, with 76%, the workers who were born in
Australia
 had the biggest proportion.
Furthermore
, it can
also
 be noted that the figures for
non English
Add a hyphen
non-English
show examples
 speaking countries (
NESC
) and
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
show examples
 countries (
ESC
) were quite similar. The percentage of
NESC
 spent at 14% which was 4% higher than the
ESC
. Turning to the remaining detail,
it is clear that
NESC
 always
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 the highest rate of joblessness
while
ESC
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 always the lowest. At the beginning of the period,
NESC
 tops the line graph, it started at over 7% before decreasing to nearly 4% by the end of the period. In terms of
ESC
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the smallest, spent at least over 3% in 1993.
Then
, there was a decline that
dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 down to approximately 1%.
Similarly
, workers who were born in
Australia
 decreased slightly from 4% to over 2%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, nesc, esc with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: