Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in theirexams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
rewarding
systems. Replace the word
reward
While
some believe that students
with high markes
should be given awards, others see that pupils who Correct your spelling
marks
show
improvenment
during the Correct your spelling
improvement
school
year should be rewarded instead
.
On the one hand, students
who get the highest scores show
good examples of dicipline
and dedication. They spend the majority of their time studying and Correct your spelling
discipline
focus
on Wrong verb form
focusing
school
duties. To clear
that, Replace the word
clarify
rewarding
system helps them to maintain their good marks and Replace the word
a reward
encouarge
other Correct your spelling
encourages
students
to follow their steps. Therfore
, Correct your spelling
Therefore
schools
will gain a good reputation among other schools
. In Japan, for instance
, schools
have special rewards for students
who achieve the highest scores, they send them to
a trip abroad for weeks.
Change preposition
on
On the other hand
, pupils who show
a remarkable improvenment
should be Correct your spelling
improvement
reward
as they work hard to develop themselves to Wrong verb form
rewarded
better
level. These Add an article
a better
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
students
push themselves to the extreme to move from the lower stage to upper
one. Indeed, they work for hours and hours to improve themselves not only from Correct article usage
the upper
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
in non academic
events. Sometimes they involve in Add a hyphen
non-academic
chairety
activities outside the Correct your spelling
charity
school
to acquire more skills. It is more benefatial
to award them to keep them on the right path and Correct your spelling
beneficial
thus
they will ensure their progress will continue even after finishing school
.
To conclude
, altough
Correct your spelling
although
students
with the highest academic records should be awarded
for their Verb problem
rewarded
achievnemnt
, I believe that Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
students
who show
development should be given Correct article usage
a reward
reward
as they put Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
Change preposition
in alot
alot
of effort during the Correct your spelling
a lot
school
year to achieve a goo
result in all aspects.Correct your spelling
good
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on
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grammar
Make sure to double-check spelling and grammar. Words like 'markes' should be 'marks,' 'dicipline' should be 'discipline,' 'therfore' should be 'therefore,' 'improvenment' should be 'improvement,' 'benefatial' should be 'beneficial,' and 'chairety' should be 'charity.' These small errors can affect the perception of your fluency.
content
Try to elaborate more on each point you make. This will show a deeper understanding and provide a richer response. For example, you could give more detailed examples of how students showing progress are rewarded and how it benefits them.
coherence
While your essay has a clear structure, make it even clearer by using more connecting phrases and topic sentences to link different parts of your essay. This will help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
content
You have clear and relevant arguments for both sides of the discussion. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay. You have managed to present the issue and your personal opinion clearly.
examples
Using real-world examples, such as the reward system in Japan, strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.