The table shows information and prediction regarding the change in the percentage of population aged 65 years and above in three countries.

The table shows information and prediction regarding the change in the percentage of population aged 65 years and above in three countries.
The table illustrates the data of the population proportion who are more than or equal to 65 years old in three different countries in 1988,
2000
Correct word choice
and 2000
show examples
and the projection for 2030. The general overview is that, over the years, every country has increased the percentages of the population.
Moreover
,
Germany
has always
responsible
Add a missing verb
been responsible
show examples
for the highest percentages of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
aged 65 or above throughout the time.
According to
the table, it can be seen that
Germany
took the major part of the ratio of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people aged 65 or above, accounting for 20.45%, followed by Canada and the UK with the figures being 16.32% and 14.23% respectively in 1988. Moving on to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
12 years, in 2000, it is still
also
Germany
that had the highest percentages over the rest, increasing to 25.32%.
Whereas
, Canada occupied 20.67% and the UK was responsible for 14.89% of the people aged more than or equal
65
Change preposition
to 65
show examples
.
Additionally
,
according to
the forecast for 2030,
Germany
still be in the first with a figure of 30.42%. Canada and the UK will take the second the
last
place with the figures being 26.35% and 20.35% of the population.
Submitted by pnakasont on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: