Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In a hustle and bustle world, people more and more want their
children
mature
and independent as fast as they can, so that, some Fix the infinitive
to mature
parents
force their child
to start Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at a very young age
. This
essay totally agrees that it is more beneficial for children
to start school
at an older age
due to
getting love
from family and being mature enough rather than starting school
at an age
which they should not.
It must be recognized that children
start
Wrong verb form
starting
school
too early will make them lack of
Change preposition
apply
love
from their parents
. This
is because, they have to spend almost their time
Change preposition
apply
in
a day studying, which Change preposition
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
mean
they Correct subject-verb agreement
means
Verb problem
apply
are
cut down Unnecessary verb
apply
Change preposition
on time
time
Change preposition
on time
Change preposition
between contact
contact
and Change preposition
between contact
Wrong verb form
talking
talk
with their Wrong verb form
talking
parents
, Correct word choice
and their
their
siblings. Correct word choice
and their
As a result
, of
young Correct your spelling
if
children
allowing
to spend Wrong verb form
are allowed
time
with their family, they can be more creative, be a person with good
heart and more importantly, be happy. Add an article
a good
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why children
should start school
at an older age
.
However
, some parents
believe that children
go
to at a very young Wrong verb form
going
age
will make them smart and independent earlier. This
belief based
on some genius Add a missing verb
is based
exposured
to knowledge when they were a Correct your spelling
exposure
exposed
child
. For
this
reason, parents
try to make their child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
going
to Wrong verb form
go
school
as early as thay
can, Correct your spelling
they
hope
they will be another genius someday. Wrong verb form
hoping
This
point maybe
true, but young Correct your spelling
may be
children
should spend time
with their family, concentrate
on developing their creativity and their compassion for other people Correct word choice
and concentrate
instead
of knowledge.
This
writer believe
that Change the verb form
believes
children
should not start school
until they are older. This
is due to
the fact that being given love
from their family is important, it impact
to feelings and emotions of a Change the verb form
impacts
child
for the rest of their life. Because of this
, parents
should not send their child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at a very early age
.
Thus
, developing about
compassion and getting Change preposition
apply
love
comprehensively from family are essential points that need to be considered. Hence
, it should have been shown that parents
should not take their child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at an early age
, they should love
and let them develop naturally instead
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task response
The essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. However, it lacks specific examples to support some of the points made. Adding relevant and specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases and linking words more effectively to ensure the essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next. The current transitions are somewhat basic, which affects the overall coherence.
language
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. There are a few grammatical errors and awkwardly phrased sentences that could be improved for better clarity and readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for the argument presented.
task response
You present a balanced discussion by acknowledging both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. This approach is effective and shows a fair consideration of different perspectives.
task response
The main points are logically developed and supported by reasonable arguments, even though they could benefit from more specific details.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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