Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In a hustle and bustle world, people more and more want their
children
Use synonyms
mature
and independent as fast as they can, so that, some Fix the infinitive
to mature
parents
force their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child
to start Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at a very young Use synonyms
age
. Use synonyms
This
essay totally agrees that it is more beneficial for Linking Words
children
to start Use synonyms
school
at an older Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
due to
getting Linking Words
love
from family and being mature enough rather than starting Use synonyms
school
at an Use synonyms
age
which they should not.
It must be recognized that Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
start
Wrong verb form
starting
school
too early will make them lack Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
love
from their Use synonyms
parents
. Use synonyms
This
is because, they have to spend almost their Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
Change preposition
apply
in
a day studying, which Change preposition
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
mean
they Correct subject-verb agreement
means
Verb problem
apply
are
cut down Unnecessary verb
apply
Use synonyms
Change preposition
on time
time
Change preposition
on time
Change preposition
between contact
contact
and Change preposition
between contact
Wrong verb form
talking
talk
with their Wrong verb form
talking
parents
, Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and their
their
siblings. Correct word choice
and their
As a result
, Linking Words
of
young Correct your spelling
if
children
Use synonyms
allowing
to spend Wrong verb form
are allowed
time
with their family, they can be more creative, be a person with Use synonyms
good
heart and more importantly, be happy. Add an article
a good
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why Linking Words
children
should start Use synonyms
school
at an older Use synonyms
age
.
Use synonyms
However
, some Linking Words
parents
believe that Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
go
to at a very young Wrong verb form
going
age
will make them smart and independent earlier. Use synonyms
This
belief Linking Words
based
on some genius Add a missing verb
is based
exposured
to knowledge when they were a Correct your spelling
exposure
exposed
child
. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
this
reason, Linking Words
parents
try to make their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
going
to Wrong verb form
go
school
as early as Use synonyms
thay
can, Correct your spelling
they
hope
they will be another genius someday. Wrong verb form
hoping
This
point Linking Words
maybe
true, but young Correct your spelling
may be
children
should spend Use synonyms
time
with their family, Use synonyms
concentrate
on developing their creativity and their compassion for other people Correct word choice
and concentrate
instead
of knowledge.
Linking Words
This
writer Linking Words
believe
that Change the verb form
believes
children
should not start Use synonyms
school
until they are older. Use synonyms
This
is Linking Words
due to
the fact that being given Linking Words
love
from their family is important, it Use synonyms
impact
to feelings and emotions of a Change the verb form
impacts
child
for the rest of their life. Because of Use synonyms
this
, Linking Words
parents
should not send their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at a very early Use synonyms
age
.
Use synonyms
Thus
, developing Linking Words
about
compassion and getting Change preposition
apply
love
comprehensively from family are essential points that need to be considered. Use synonyms
Hence
, it should have been shown that Linking Words
parents
should not take their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at an early Use synonyms
age
, they should Use synonyms
love
and let them develop naturally Use synonyms
instead
.Linking Words
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task response
The essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. However, it lacks specific examples to support some of the points made. Adding relevant and specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases and linking words more effectively to ensure the essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next. The current transitions are somewhat basic, which affects the overall coherence.
language
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. There are a few grammatical errors and awkwardly phrased sentences that could be improved for better clarity and readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for the argument presented.
task response
You present a balanced discussion by acknowledging both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. This approach is effective and shows a fair consideration of different perspectives.
task response
The main points are logically developed and supported by reasonable arguments, even though they could benefit from more specific details.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.