Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In a hustle and bustle world, people more and more want their
children
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mature
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to mature
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and independent as fast as they can, so that, some
parents
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force their
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child
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children
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to start
school
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at a very young
age
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.
This
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essay totally agrees that it is more beneficial for
children
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to start
school
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at an older
age
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due to
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getting
love
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from family and being mature enough rather than starting
school
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at an
age
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which they should not. It must be recognized that
children
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start
Wrong verb form
starting
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school
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too early will make them lack
of
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apply
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love
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from their
parents
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.
This
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is because, they have to spend almost their
time
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apply
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in
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apply
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a day studying, which
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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they
Verb problem
apply
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cut down
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on time
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time
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on time
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between contact
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contact
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between contact
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and
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talking
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talk
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talking
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with their
parents
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,
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and their
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their
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and their
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siblings.
As a result
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,
of
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if
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young
children
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allowing
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are allowed
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to spend
time
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with their family, they can be more creative, be a person with
good
Add an article
a good
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heart and more importantly, be happy.
Therefore
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, it is easy to understand why
children
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should start
school
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at an older
age
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.
However
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, some
parents
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believe that
children
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go
Wrong verb form
going
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to at a very young
age
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will make them smart and independent earlier.
This
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belief
based
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is based
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on some genius
exposured
Correct your spelling
exposure
exposed
to knowledge when they were a
child
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.
For
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this
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reason,
parents
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try to make their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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going
Wrong verb form
go
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to
school
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as early as
thay
Correct your spelling
they
can,
hope
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hoping
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they will be another genius someday.
This
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point
maybe
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may be
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true, but young
children
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should spend
time
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with their family,
concentrate
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and concentrate
show examples
on developing their creativity and their compassion for other people
instead
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of knowledge.
This
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writer
believe
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believes
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that
children
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should not start
school
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until they are older.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that being given
love
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from their family is important, it
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
to feelings and emotions of a
child
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for the rest of their life. Because of
this
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,
parents
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should not send their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to
school
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at a very early
age
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.
Thus
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, developing
about
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apply
show examples
compassion and getting
love
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comprehensively from family are essential points that need to be considered.
Hence
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, it should have been shown that
parents
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should not take their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to
school
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at an early
age
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, they should
love
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and let them develop naturally
instead
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.
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task response
The essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. However, it lacks specific examples to support some of the points made. Adding relevant and specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases and linking words more effectively to ensure the essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next. The current transitions are somewhat basic, which affects the overall coherence.
language
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. There are a few grammatical errors and awkwardly phrased sentences that could be improved for better clarity and readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for the argument presented.
task response
You present a balanced discussion by acknowledging both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. This approach is effective and shows a fair consideration of different perspectives.
task response
The main points are logically developed and supported by reasonable arguments, even though they could benefit from more specific details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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