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Band 5.5

Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#people #society #consumer #goods
The living cost has a significant impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 the community. Some
people
 prefer living in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 environment where products and services are cheaper but others are more interested in luxury products. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
society
 where consumer goods are affordable is more advantageous than the expensive one in terms of enhancing the purchase of power and living an unstressful
life
.
To begin
 with, a cheaper
society
 helps
people
 to enhance their purchase of power. A large part of the revenue of inhabitants goes to groceries, rent, or healthcare. If these charges do not weigh on the budget of
people
, they can save more money and manage easily the rest of their daily expenses.
furthermore
, individuals with a good savings account are more likely to live a better
life
 because they feel confident,
happy
Correct word choice
and happy
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, and can take advantage of their lives by going on vacation,
taking
Correct word choice
and taking
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 fresh air in a better place with their relatives.
On the other hand
, a place with a lower rate of inflation is conducive to an unstressful
life
. Stress is part of the daily
life
. It is most of the time
due to
 the high level of living cost. all across the world,
people
 complain about the rising prices of products.
Therefore
, when
this
 percentage deeply declines, consumers become relaxed because they have more opportunities to face their bills.
In addition
, families are less under pressure when the cost of articles drops.
For example
, during the
Chrismas
Correct your spelling
Christmas
show examples
 event, in a cheaper
society
, many parents should be relaxed if they do not suffer buying new toys for their children.
To sum up
, a
society
 where consumer goods are affordable is more advantageous than expensive
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 in terms of enhancing the purchase of power and living an unstressful
life
.
Submitted by ibamba88 on

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task response
Ensure that all points made are relevant to the topic and fully address the question. Make sure to balance the advantages and disadvantages within the essay more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Try to avoid abrupt transitions.
task response
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing both the general advantages in the introduction and specific benefits in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Both body paragraphs begin with clear topic sentences that signal the main point of each paragraph, giving the essay a structured feel.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • quality of life
  • overconsumption
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable practices
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • decline in quality
  • frequent replacements
  • standard of living
  • mass production
  • cheap labor
  • working conditions
  • exploitation
  • innovation
  • cost-effective
  • competitive
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