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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #world #illiteracy #rates #region #gender #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 esteem of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are not able to read and write broken down by gender and region
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 females have the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage in all
countries
Use synonyms
 studied,
instead
Linking Words
 males had received more education. Most of
women
Add an article
the women
show examples
 that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come from South Asia,
Arab
Correct article usage
the Arab
show examples
 States and Sub-Saharan Africa are not able to read and write and they have
a really high percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a really high percentage
really high percentages
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 study (almost 60%, just over 50% and less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 50% respectively). Oceania
ladies
Change noun form
lady's
ladies'
show examples
 bar,
instead
Linking Words
, is much less than
other
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 aforementioned, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
Latin
Correct article usage
a Latin
show examples
 American bar. Most of
females
Add an article
the females
show examples
 that can write and read are living in developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, illiterate males have lower percentages than females in all
countries
Use synonyms
. In East
Asia
Add a comma
Asia,
show examples
 men are less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 half and
two third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 in South Asia same in Arab States. The only two places where men and women are practically at the same level are in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 and Latin America.
Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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