More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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I guess everybody
say
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says
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"
yes
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Yes
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of course" Right
.
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?
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Telephone
is
most
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a most
the most
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important thing in the world . Every
conuntry
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country
use
telephone
.
Telephone
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The telephone
A telephone
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is useful for us
,
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apply
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because when we need news we will look for
google
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Google
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. If we
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are
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bored, we will play different games. Once upon
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a time
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time
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time,
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we have a small phone .
It
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Its
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name is
nokia
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Nokia
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. There
is
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are
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different games , music, videos and others . When
i
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I
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was 8 years old . I got lost in the market . There is my phone in my
pocked
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pocket
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.
Then
i
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I
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called my mum . So my mum found me . So
i
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I
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say "
telephone
is useful for us".Nowadays everybody
use
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uses
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telephone
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the telephone
a telephone
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.
Telephone
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Telephones
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become popular . But
telephone
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the telephone
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is bad for
eyes
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the eyes
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. If we
use
a lot
of
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of it
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, our eyes will be sick. So my dad always
say
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says
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me
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to me
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"
don't
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Don't
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use
telephone
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the telephone
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a lot ".
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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structure
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to help frame your essay and present your main points more effectively.
content development
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide specific examples and evidence to support each point you make.
task focus
Ensure that you stay focused on the topic. The current essay discusses telephones in general rather than specifically addressing the issue of sharing personal information online.
example usage
You provided relatable personal examples that convey your points. This can make your writing more engaging.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal information
  • Online privacy
  • Security concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Convenient access
  • Social networks
  • Banking purposes
  • Positive development
  • Negative impact
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