Every year several languages die out. This is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are more than 50
languages
spoken in the world, the most popular is the English
language
. By the way, every single year some
languages
graduate were used less and disappear. Some
people
believe that it would make life more convenient
from speaking
Change preposition
to speak
show examples
fewer
languages
. I personally think that it has both disadvantages and advantages, described in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, it is normal that
languages
that are not public like
tribe
Replace the word
tribal
show examples
languages
can be naturally wiped out. On the one hand, I am concerned about the
dissapeared
Correct your spelling
disappearing
languages
such
as the loss of cultural histories and varieties, and the translator job in the future.
Firstly
, if a local
language
disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappears
show examples
, it means that we have lost the cultural history of that area.
For example
, the tribe recorded the crucial event
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
in the past in their own
language
, yet the outsider cannot understand it until it
will get
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
encoded. I'm afraid that the
died out
Verb problem
deaths
show examples
of several
languages
will not stop soon, causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the national
language
in many countries.
Following
this
, the translator job might
also
not
Add a missing verb
be necessaries
show examples
necessaries
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
or required anymore.
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that using popular
languages
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
many benefits
such
as
people
can communicate easier than before, the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
will be less racist to others and they will become more global citizens, and the decreasing of wars. The first
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective communication, the
people
who
speaking
Change the form of the verb
speak
show examples
the same
languages
lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more understanding without the wall.
Next,
the rates of
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
rasists
Correct your spelling
racists
will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
drop because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they have the same national
language
.
Moreover
, the
people
will gain more unity and
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global citizens.
Finally
, without misunderstanding or
mistranslate
Wrong verb form
mistranslating
show examples
from different
languages
or different
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
contexts, it
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
to be less in making wars.
To conclude
, even though the
died out
Verb problem
death
show examples
of
languages
would cause some drawbacks, it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural selection and I personally think that using popular
languages
will outweigh the disadvantages.Every year several
languages
die out.
This
is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer
languages
in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by pnakasont on

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task achievement
Your essay could be improved by providing more concrete examples. While you offer some relevant points, they remain somewhat general. Specific examples and evidence would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the consistency in the use of tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'graduate were used less and disappear' should be corrected to 'gradually become less used and disappear.' Also, 'the died out of' should be changed to 'the dying out of.'
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition, such as repeating the phrase 'disappeared languages.' Also, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next one. Work on making your ideas flow more coherently from one to another.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a structured response. Your stance is clear, and you offer both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately by exploring both advantages and disadvantages of fewer languages in the world. You provide a balanced view, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • community
  • values
  • knowledge
  • wisdom
  • cultural traditions
  • multilingualism
  • globalization
  • modernization
  • language preservation
  • revitalization
  • endangered languages
  • linguistic diversity
  • linguistic heritage
  • linguistic rights
  • intercultural understanding
  • linguistic loss
  • linguistic extinction
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