Every year several languages die out. This is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are more than 50
languages
spoken in the world, the most popular is the English language
. By the way, every single year some languages
graduate were used less and disappear. Some people
believe that it would make life more convenient from speaking
fewer Change preposition
to speak
languages
. I personally think that it has both disadvantages and advantages, described in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, it is normal that languages
that are not public like tribe
Replace the word
tribal
languages
can be naturally wiped out. On the one hand, I am concerned about the dissapeared
Correct your spelling
disappearing
languages
such
as the loss of cultural histories and varieties, and the translator job in the future. Firstly
, if a local language
disappeared
, it means that we have lost the cultural history of that area. Wrong verb form
disappears
For example
, the tribe recorded the crucial event happened
in the past in their own Correct pronoun usage
that happened
language
, yet the outsider cannot understand it until it will get
encoded. I'm afraid that the Wrong verb form
is
died out
of several Verb problem
deaths
languages
will not stop soon, causing the
changes Correct article usage
apply
of
the national Change preposition
in
language
in many countries. Following
this
, the translator job might also
not Add a missing verb
be necessaries
necessaries
or required anymore.
Replace the word
necessary
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that using popular languages
have
many benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
has
such
as people
can communicate easier than before, the poeple
will be less racist to others and they will become more global citizens, and the decreasing of wars. The first Correct your spelling
people
beneficial
is Replace the word
benefit
the
effective communication, the Correct article usage
apply
people
who speaking
the same Change the form of the verb
speak
languages
lead to the
more understanding without the wall. Correct article usage
apply
Next,
the rates of nation
Replace the word
national
rasists
will Correct your spelling
racists
be
drop because Unnecessary verb
apply
of
they have the same national Change preposition
apply
language
. Moreover
, the people
will gain more unity and becoming
Wrong verb form
become
the
global citizens. Correct article usage
apply
Finally
, without misunderstanding or mistranslate
from different Wrong verb form
mistranslating
languages
or different culture
contexts, it Replace the word
cultural
tend
to be less in making wars.
Change the verb form
tends
To conclude
, even though the died out
of Verb problem
death
languages
would cause some drawbacks, it is the
natural selection and I personally think that using popular Correct article usage
apply
languages
will outweigh the disadvantages.Every year several languages
die out. This
is not important because life will be
easier if there are fewer languages
in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Submitted by pnakasont on
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task achievement
Your essay could be improved by providing more concrete examples. While you offer some relevant points, they remain somewhat general. Specific examples and evidence would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the consistency in the use of tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'graduate were used less and disappear' should be corrected to 'gradually become less used and disappear.' Also, 'the died out of' should be changed to 'the dying out of.'
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition, such as repeating the phrase 'disappeared languages.' Also, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next one. Work on making your ideas flow more coherently from one to another.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a structured response. Your stance is clear, and you offer both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately by exploring both advantages and disadvantages of fewer languages in the world. You provide a balanced view, which is commendable.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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