IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #development
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Currently,
people
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 tend to claim kinds of stuff immediately.
This
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 is because of the development of the canned industry and individuals's
laziness
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.
This
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 writer considers that
this
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 phenomenon has a negative effect on society. First and foremost, it is vital to understand that the acquirement of instant
food
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 increasing stunningly in new eras.
In addition
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, deadlines are a way to push up short-term motivation,
moreover
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,
people
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 especially teenagers now have to deal with many types of deadlines,
therefore
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 instant
food
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 plays a pivotal role in the quick pace of life. Concurrently, when they completely finish their tons of work,
people
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 have a tendency to be rested, which accidentally enhances
laziness
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, they do not actually determine in quality of
food
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 and just care about whether it has enough variety of nutritions, so canned
food
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 totally apply all request lead to the
laziness
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 of
people
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.
According to
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 the mentioned viewpoint, it illustrates an obvious disadvantage that slows down productivity
due to
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people
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 spending too much time relaxing
laziness
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 can lead to unexpected consequences
such
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 as obesity, and delays in work.
As a result
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, they gradually lose concentration in duties and eventually miss their dream position. In conclusion, the phenomenon want things instantly has improved in
people
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 increasingly.
Although
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, its benefits for a followed person the drawbacks outweigh its advantages.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are clearly organized and connected. The essay sometimes jumps from one idea to another without clear transitions.
task achievement
Make sure you elaborate on your points with specific examples and thorough explanations. The essay mentions reasons but doesn't delve deeply into them.
language
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can obscure your meaning. For instance, 'individuals’s laziness' should be 'individuals’ laziness' or simply 'laziness of individuals.'
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for the desire for instant gratification and the evaluation of whether this is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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