IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Other like their lives to stay the same and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life and explain your perferance.

#people #change #experiences #lives #habits #two #approaches #life #perferance
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Some
people
 try to often change their work and living
place
,
by
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 consider it is risk alter frequently. Personally, I agree with
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 statement. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explain my viewpoint. On the one hand, some
infividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 consider that
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
 is more important for human mental health. Because
people
 always want to discover new things. New skills help us to make our life more
colerful
Correct your spelling
colourful
 and it
motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
show examples
 us to discover new abilities.
For instance
, every summer I go to dancing school. It is
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 experience for me and despite the fact that I can not dance well I find it
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
joyfully
. I meet, many interesting
people
 in dance school and we always keep in touch and inform each other about new courses.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that changing is risky for individuals, because they
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to live
Correct article usage
a stabile
show examples
stabile
Correct your spelling
stable
show examples
 life and
stationary
Add a missing verb
do stationary
show examples
 work. For
some
Add a comma
some,
show examples
 it is difficult to change work
place
 and living area. They can not get
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
well with new
colleguas
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 and neighbours.
Moreover
, some find it
borring
Correct your spelling
boring
 to migrate
one
Change preposition
from one
show examples
place
 to another.
For example
, a friend of mine
due to
 his job often changes his
place
 and she
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 it
borring
Correct your spelling
boring
.
To sum up
, some found
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
changing and consider it is new experience for them.
By contrast
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think it is
tiering
Correct your spelling
tiring
show examples
 to change always from
place
 to
place
.
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on

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Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy by reviewing subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. For instance, "some individuals" instead of "some infividuals".
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more transitional phrases and connectors to link ideas more clearly.
Development of Ideas
Develop paragraphs further by providing additional specific examples and details.
Task Achievement
You have made a clear attempt to compare both perspectives and state your preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which offers a sense of completeness.
Task Achievement
Use of personal experiences adds a genuine touch to your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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