Some people say the the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
have different perspectives about learning a foreign language
for specific reasons
. Some people
believe that this
attempt is useful when they use it for job
or travel abroad, Add an article
a job
the job
while
others do not agree with this
statement because they think that there are more reasonable purposes for mastering new languages
.
On the one hand, there are some reasons
why people
might think a foreign language
is only useful when they are traveling
and having a job in another country. First of all, it is Change the spelling
travelling
it is
true that many common international Remove the redundancy
apply
languages
are required for working abroad. If they are not good at it, they might fail to pass the selection, although
they have enough skills in other requirements. For instance
, nowadays, English is becoming global
Correct article usage
a global
language
and almost every companies consider which candidates can speak fluently in English. In addition
, in terms of traveling
, Change the spelling
travelling
people
may not enjoy enough to experience
tourist attractions in foreign countries if they do not understand Change the verb form
experiencing
simple
sentences of that nation.
Correct article usage
the simple
On the other hand
, another group of people
believe that there are other reasons
why they should learn a foreign language
. I think,
Remove the comma
apply
people
can learn new languages
as their
Change the word
a
hobbies
Fix the agreement mistake
hobby
for example
, in modern
world, k-drama is becoming more popular than Add an article
the modern
the
past. Change preposition
in the
Furthermore
, some youngsters tend to learn the Korean language
to watch their dramas without any subtitles also
, if people
learn other languages
, they can search some informations
on the internet which cannot Change the wording
information
pieces of information
find
in their national Wrong verb form
be found
language
.
In conclusion, learning a foreign speech plays an
significant role in Change the article
a
people
’s lives. However
, there are some benefits of knowing another language
, there are also
various reasonable reasons
why people
should learn foreign
Add an article
a foreign
language
.Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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task achievement
Your response is quite complete and covers both sides of the argument, which is good. However, you can enhance clarity by avoiding repetition and focusing on making your points more concise.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph distinctly addresses one key point to avoid confusion. Also, avoid repetitive phrases to improve readability. For example, instead of writing 'it is it is true', ensure you proofread to catch and correct such errors.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by making them more clear and impactful. A stronger introduction would immediately draw the reader's attention and a stronger conclusion would leave a lasting impression. Currently, they are somewhat straightforward and could use more sophistication.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. Avoid repetition of simple phrases and focus on using complex structures correctly to demonstrate language proficiency. For example, instead of simple connectives like 'also' or 'first of all', use transitional phrases like 'moreover', 'in addition', etc.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples like mentioning 'k-drama' and the increasing importance of English in job prospects. This strengthens the argument and makes the essay more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is fairly solid, and your points are generally well-organized, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints effectively and provides a balanced discussion, which is essential for task completion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?