Some people say the the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People
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have different perspectives about learning a foreign
language
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for specific
reasons
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. Some
people
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believe that
this
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attempt is useful when they use it for
job
Add an article
a job
the job
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or travel abroad,
while
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others do not agree with
this
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statement because they think that there are more reasonable purposes for mastering new
languages
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. On the one hand, there are some
reasons
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why
people
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might think a foreign
language
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is only useful when they are
traveling
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travelling
show examples
and having a job in another country. First of all, it is
it is
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apply
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true that many common international
languages
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are required for working abroad. If they are not good at it, they might fail to pass the selection,
although
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they have enough skills in other requirements.
For instance
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, nowadays, English is becoming
global
Correct article usage
a global
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language
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and almost every companies consider which candidates can speak fluently in English.
In addition
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, in terms of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
,
people
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may not enjoy enough
to experience
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experiencing
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tourist attractions in foreign countries if they do not understand
simple
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the simple
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sentences of that nation.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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believe that there are other
reasons
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why they should learn a foreign
language
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. I think
,
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apply
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people
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can learn new
languages
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as
their
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a
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hobbies
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hobby
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for example
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, in
modern
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the modern
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world, k-drama is becoming more popular than
the
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in the
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past.
Furthermore
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, some youngsters tend to learn the Korean
language
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to watch their dramas without any subtitles
also
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, if
people
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learn other
languages
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, they can search some
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
on the internet which cannot
find
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be found
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in their national
language
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. In conclusion, learning a foreign speech plays
an
Change the article
a
show examples
significant role in
people
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’s lives.
However
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, there are some benefits of knowing another
language
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, there are
also
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various reasonable
reasons
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why
people
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should learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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task achievement
Your response is quite complete and covers both sides of the argument, which is good. However, you can enhance clarity by avoiding repetition and focusing on making your points more concise.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph distinctly addresses one key point to avoid confusion. Also, avoid repetitive phrases to improve readability. For example, instead of writing 'it is it is true', ensure you proofread to catch and correct such errors.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by making them more clear and impactful. A stronger introduction would immediately draw the reader's attention and a stronger conclusion would leave a lasting impression. Currently, they are somewhat straightforward and could use more sophistication.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. Avoid repetition of simple phrases and focus on using complex structures correctly to demonstrate language proficiency. For example, instead of simple connectives like 'also' or 'first of all', use transitional phrases like 'moreover', 'in addition', etc.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples like mentioning 'k-drama' and the increasing importance of English in job prospects. This strengthens the argument and makes the essay more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is fairly solid, and your points are generally well-organized, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints effectively and provides a balanced discussion, which is essential for task completion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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