Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.
As there
are two perspectives,Correct word choice
There
one
kind of student says that,focusing on the main is important whereas
,others believe that ,it's important to learn all subjects.In this
essay,we will discuss both views and lastly
,I will share my thoughts.
On the one
hand,studying a major gives you more information and profound knowledge.To be specific, the more
students concentrate the more
deeper the knowledge they have.Change the word
apply
For example
,if a student studies 10000 hours to do research on his major project on the contrary
,another student who
is studying 1000 hours.The Correct pronoun usage
apply
one
giving more time will have a stronger views
of the project.
Correct the article-noun agreement
a stronger view
stronger views
On the other hand
,learners who are distributing their time among various subjects may have a wide range of knowledge.And such
type os
students will handle any kind of Correct your spelling
of
problem related
what they have studied.Add a hyphen
problem-related
For example
, if a scholar is learning German language,history and his major as well,he will definitely have more ideas.
However
,in my view,I think that doing the best in one
thing and endeavouing
to get qualified in Correct your spelling
endeavouring
that is
a great achievement.Personally,I was good at maths and I was doing my best there,So I got a job than
others who were diverted in various things. In conclusion, Correct quantifier usage
more than
although
some individuals think that studying different departments is favourable, I stress that solely focusing on qualifying is crucial.Submitted by sammama250 on
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complete response
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, but some of the points could be further developed to give a clearer and more comprehensive response. Try to elaborate on your examples and explanations to make your main points stronger.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in your essay are generally clear, but some parts could be more fully developed. For example, in your example about the student studying 10,000 hours, you could include more details about how this depth of study supports the student's understanding and skills.
relevant specific examples
When providing examples, try to make them as specific and relevant as possible. Expanding on them with specific details can help illustrate your points more effectively.
logical structure
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity. Some of your sentences are a bit fragmented or require additional clarity.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides good structure to your essay.
supported main points
You present both sides of the argument, which shows balanced consideration of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.