IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

#nations #countries #relief #disasters
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Developed
countries
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 are obliged to provide humanitarian aid to underdeveloped
countries
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 when there is a catastrophe caused naturally.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because poorer nations do not have the advanced resources to tackle
this
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 emergency and it is the global responsibility to help each other.
Firstly
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, most underdeveloped
countries
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 lack advanced technologies and facilities in terms of disaster management and evacuation systems.
Moreover
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, they do not have enough budgets and resources to prepare for natural catastrophes.
For instance
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, recently Turkey faced a severe earthquake and the vast majority of advanced
countries
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 voluntarily provided their hands to evacuate these Turkish people who were under the rabbles with the help of the latest devices.
Secondly
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, we all have a moral obligation to help each other in different situations.
Furthermore
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, if wealthy societies assist helpless
countries
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 it helps build connections between
countries
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 to prevent conflicts in the future.
For example
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, the USA were one of the first
countries
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 who deliver humanitarian aid to African communities when they were hit by extreme droughts. In conclusion, developed nations should support underdeveloped nations with humanitarian relief when they have essential disasters because poorer
countries
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 are unable to have resources in advance and it is all societies' moral obligation to support each other.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and consider using linking words more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more depth in the explanation of each main point to enhance clarity and comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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