Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Educating children at
schools
is the main aim of training them to be good people and employers Fix the agreement mistake
school
instead
of advantage
them as Change the verb form
advantaging
personality
. In my opinion, I lean more toward Correct article usage
a personality
to
the formal statement and will elucidate Change preposition
apply
in
the following paragraphs.
One of the main upsides is that state schools are built for all children in order to acquire theoretical knowledge; Correct pronoun usage
it in
besides
, providing themselves a range of abilities to have secure employment. Moreover
, education
helps students
to become good citizens by
several ways Change preposition
in
such
as enriching students
learning Change noun form
students'
student's
experience
and teaching Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
the
positive activities and thinking. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, students
become excellent employers who attend vocational training courses, there are no limitations in teaching and learning. Consequently
, various ways of teaching lead to the same results which contribute to learner’s city by the way educating them to excellent
people and employers.
Moving to another side, it is important for the government to find out what is the children’s passion and help them Add a missing verb
be excellent
in following
that job Wrong verb form
follow
instead
of telling Correct pronoun usage
them what
what
is Correct pronoun usage
them what
Correct article usage
apply
the
best for them. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, education
provides a developing environment for learners to easily gain knowledge which contributes their
own fields. The curriculum in the USA gives a wide area to learners so that researchers can join in their best subjects. Change preposition
to their
Therefore
, it is also
shown that education
advantage entities.
In conclusion, the purpose of education
is believed to train children to excellent
workers and people in order to develop Add a missing verb
be excellent
country
and Add an article
the country
also
to advantage themselves
as personal Change preposition
of themselves
by
several ways. From my point, educating is the way which Change preposition
in
helps
Wrong verb form
help
students
become a
good Correct article usage
apply
person
because of Fix the agreement mistake
people
teaching
them knowledge, the positive thinking.Wrong verb form
teaches
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task achievement
The essay shows an understanding of the task but could use clearer focus. Make sure to discuss both individual and societal benefits in more depth.
task achievement
Avoid vague statements like 'It is also shown that education advantage entities'. Try to be specific in your explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences build upon that idea coherently.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases effectively to make the flow of ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer. Avoid long, run-on sentences.
task achievement
The introduction provides a clear stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
The examples presented in the essay are relevant and help support the main ideas.