Some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
have different views about who have
to get Correct subject-verb agreement
has
rewards
. Some people
believe that the best score
student should be a rewarding person, while
others argue that pupils who experieced
improvements should be rewarded. Correct your spelling
experienced
This
essay will discuss this
issue from both perspectives,
and suggest my opinion of these views.
On the one hand, there are some grounds to support the view that rewarding Remove the comma
apply
students
should be a
Change the article
the
best grade
pupil. Add a hyphen
best-grade
Firstly
, this
reward system can encourage students
who are in Correct article usage
the higest
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
score
level to mainain
their good grades until they graduate from their Correct your spelling
maintain
school
. In general, most adolescents admire high
Add a hyphen
high-score
score
students
, so if they get some rewards
officially at the school
, other students
would make some efforts to receive prizes
. For instance
, in South Korea, the schools pick highest
Correct article usage
the highest
score
pupils and provide prizes
which can utilise
to get into the university Wrong verb form
be utilised
in
the end of Change the preposition
at
semester
. Add an article
the semester
Hence
, these prizes
might prove their school
life and ensure to get some better offer
from high-ranking universities.
Fix the agreement mistake
offers
On the other hand
, I believe that school
should provide Fix the agreement mistake
schools
rewards
to pupils who show improvements. Dut
to Correct your spelling
Due
fact
that they can get motivations Add an article
the fact
and
these motivations might lead to Correct word choice
apply
a
significant growth in academic aspects. Remove the article
apply
Although
high
Correct article usage
a high
score
is harder to get it
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
the developments
developments
of Fix the agreement mistake
development
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
are
much harder than the other views. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
This
is because students
who could not get best
outcomes should study harder than Correct article usage
the best
the
pastChange preposition
in the
,
if they want to show high academic results. Remove the comma
apply
According to
accademic
research, Correct your spelling
academic
proving
Verb problem
providing
rewards
to improving students
shows more effective results for a long period at the school
, since every people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
have
opportunities to receive Correct subject-verb agreement
has
prizes
, and get high results. Therefore
, rewarding
programme can be a sort of Add an article
the rewarding
a rewarding
compettions
, so it gives huge Correct your spelling
competitions
competition
motivations
to young Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
people
to develop their abilities.
In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue as both are significant acheivements
for Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
students
. For
this
reason, the school
should consider of
these balances before they reward Change preposition
apply
students
.Submitted by kimjy3329 on
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General
Your essay has good structure and relevant examples but there are some grammatical errors and awkward expressions. Proofreading and editing would improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a higher range of language skills.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion on the issue. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your arguments.
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