some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
have different views about who should receive rewards. Some people
believe that the students
who had a
best Change the article
the
score
should be a rewarding person, while
others argue that students
who have shown improvement should be rewarded. This
essay will discuss this
issue from both perspectives,
and suggest my opinion of these views.
On the one hand, there are some grounds to support the view that rewarding Remove the comma
apply
students
should be a
Change the article
the
best grade
pupil. Add a hyphen
best-grade
Firstly
, this
reward system can encourage students
who are in Correct article usage
the higest
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
score
level to mainain
their good grades until they graduate from their Correct your spelling
maintain
school
. In general, most adolescents admire high
Add a hyphen
high-score
score
students
, so if they get some rewards officially at the school
, other students
would make some efforts
to receive Fix the agreement mistake
effort
this
Correct determiner usage
these
prizes
. For instance
, some schools pick highest
Correct article usage
the highest
score
pupils and provide prizes
which can utilise
to get into the university Wrong verb form
be utilised
in
the end of the semester. In short, Change the preposition
at
prizes
might prove
Verb problem
improve
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
overall
school
life and ensure to get some
better offers from high-ranking universities.
Correct quantifier usage
apply
On the other hand
, I believe that school
should reward pupils who show improvements. Fix the agreement mistake
schools
Dut
to Correct your spelling
Due
fact
that they can get motivations Add an article
the fact
and
these motivations might lead to Correct word choice
apply
a
significant growth in academic aspects. Remove the article
apply
Although
high
Correct article usage
a high
score
is harder to get it
, it seems the Correct pronoun usage
apply
developments
of Fix the agreement mistake
development
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
are
much harder. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
This
is because students
who could not get best
outcomes should study harder than Correct article usage
the best
the
pastChange preposition
in the
,
if they want to show high academic results. Remove the comma
apply
According to
accademical
research, Correct your spelling
academic
academical
proving
rewards to improving Verb problem
providing
students
shows more effective results for a long period at the school
, since every people
has opportunities to receive Fix the agreement mistake
person
prizes
, and gets
high results. Correct subject-verb agreement
get
Therefore
, rewarding
programme can be a sort of Add an article
the rewarding
a rewarding
compettions
, so it gives huge Correct your spelling
competitions
competition
motivations
to young Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
people
to develop their abilities.
In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue as both are significant achievements for students
. For
this
reason, the school
should consider these balances before they reward students
.Submitted by kimjy3329 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, which is good. However, it would benefit from more specific examples and clearer idea development. Details and real-life examples can help make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one and that your ideas are clearly connected. Work on making your arguments flow more naturally rather than seeming like distinct, separate points.
general language
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structure to avoid small inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. This will help your ideas be communicated more clearly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well. This shows a good understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
The essay shows a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the issue. It's clear that you have thought about both sides of the argument.