Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of schoolchildren is to make physical education compulsory in all schools. Others, however, think that this would have little effect on overall health and those other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is universally acknowledged that exercise significantly affects health,
hence
it should be considered in all ages. Some advocate for compulsory putting
Verb problem
apply
the
physical education (Correct article usage
apply
PE
) in school
curriculum which is criticized by Correct article usage
the school
opposite
orientation. They assert that Correct article usage
the opposite
the
Correct article usage
apply
PE
is not the only reason of
being healthy. Change preposition
for
This
essay will be discussed
both sides and express my viewpoint too.
The proponent claims that if pupils forcefully Wrong verb form
discuss
involve
in Wrong verb form
involved
the
Correct article usage
apply
PE
, it will assist them in several aspects. First and foremost, a tendency towards the
sedentary lifestyle is discovered a burst in the youth, Correct article usage
a
due to
sedentary activities, such
as playing online games and doing homework; and even most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
subjects encourage them to sit and study. Secondly
, it could underlie educating interpersonal skills and improving individual characters
. Fix the agreement mistake
character
For example
, soccer is a team sport which requires cooperation and assistance during the game to win. All in all, the school
would appeal more to students through
Change preposition
by
spending
Verb problem
having
funny
time during Correct word choice
a fun
Add an article
the game
a game
game
.
Fix the agreement mistake
games
Conversely
, opponents conflict with the
mandatory Correct article usage
apply
PE
by
Change preposition
for
following
reasons. The assessments illustrate that obligation has an inverse impact Correct article usage
the following
upon
individuals’ Change preposition
on
behaviors
, Change the spelling
behaviours
hence
the
compulsorily physical activities would be refused by students. Correct article usage
apply
This
would change sport
class, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
as
a pleasant time, into an anxious Change preposition
from
school
subject. In addition
, the effectiveness of other factors, such
as nutrition, sleeping time and personal habits, are obviously undeniable. For instance
, exercising along with
eating fast foods and drinking alcohol wouldn’t have noticeable
influence on body health. Add an article
a noticeable
Thus
, wellness entails a
comprehensive care and Remove the article
apply
does
not Verb problem
is
summarize
in Wrong verb form
summarised
sport
.
In conclusion, the necessity of physical activities is completely accepted. My opinion would strike a balance between these two argumentative ideas. To put it differently, schools could schedule the subject with learning nutrimental values, healthy Fix the agreement mistake
sports
habit s
and Correct your spelling
habits
also
movements.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence and cohesion
Work on refining the logical structure of your essay. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that ideas are presented in a cohesive manner.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and well-developed. Avoid vague statements and provide more concrete examples where necessary.
language accuracy
Review grammar and sentence structure to avoid minor mistakes that can disrupt readability.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion with a clear outline of both sides of the argument.
examples
You provided good reasoning and examples, particularly the point about soccer and teamwork, which enriches your argument.
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