In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #parks #spaces #gardens #residents #fruit #vegetables

Nowadays, in most

citis

Correct your spelling

cities

, the outside

places

and parks are being replaced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gardens where the citizens can make their own

food

such

as vegetables or fruits. I contend that

although

food

is the most essential

sources

Fix the agreement mistake

source

show examples

people

, the government should keep entertaining

places

serving for relaxation of

people

because those

places

play an important role

Change preposition

show examples

both economic and tourist

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

of the city.

Initially

food

made by local

people

is really meaningful. When

people

grow their own

food

thay

Correct your spelling

they

can actually be in trust with the safety of

food

Moreover

, it will raise awareness of healthy fruit which help them to be more mature.

Otherwise

, when

this

plan

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

this activities

Change the determiner

this activity

these activities

show examples

can lead the society to be more united, the relationshi[ between

people

will be made.

Therefore

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

activities gain lots of valuable meaning

due to

the connection in society. It is vital to understand that open

places

and public parks have their own benefits

due to

the city.

First,

planting fruit in public

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

lots of risks.

For example

, not only the the thief or the robber

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

steal

food

sources, but

also

the great

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

of temperature are hard to control so

this

plan

are

Change the verb form

show examples

quite impossible, it is hard to manage. Because of all

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

reasons, the government should be careful in choosing

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good choice for the city.

Thus

, it can be seen that

eve

Correct your spelling

even

show examples

though growing

food

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

garden

Fix the agreement mistake

gardens

show examples

have some benefits, it is still

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweighed

by the advantages of open spaces and public parks.

Mon May 27 2024

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task achievement

Work on clear and concise expressions of ideas. Some parts of the essay are vague or too general. Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage. There are several minor errors that affect the overall clarity and fluency of your writing.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a conclusion that restates your main point, which helps structure your essay well.

task achievement

You have identified both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, indicating a balanced approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urban Agriculture
Community Engagement
Social Interaction
Physical Exercise
Mental Relaxation
Fresh Produce
Sustainability
Biodiversity
Carbon Footprint
Air Quality
Educational Opportunities
Horticulture
Teamwork
Sustainable Living
Food Security
Locally-grown
Nutritious
Neighborhood Bonds
Urban Sustainability

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In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that with the development of the Internet, Radio has no future. Do you agree?

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Marketing and promotion is key to a successful business. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others say it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Art is considered an important part of a society as wen as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?